A Series Of Loosely Interconnected Events
by BleedItAndWeep
Summary: (That is also called Drabbles. More of a dump place of my strange ideas) - Ruby is strangled by Yang's ass cheeks in the 1st chapter, feels in the 2nd, fondling in the 3rd! If that doesn't spark your curiosity, I don't know what will. T because Yang doesn't play by the rules, and I'm fairly immature. No pairings, maybe. Depends on the chapter. Goes from feels to funny and back.
1. Jaune's Party and Yang's Ass

**A Series Of Loosely Interconnected Events  
(that may be called Drabbles)**

 **1: Jaune's Party and Yang's Ass (it'll make sense, don't worry)**

* * *

 _Greetings ladies and gentlemen of the RWBY fanfiction community! I thank you personally for clicking on this story._

 _Well, it's not actually a story. Sort of. It's a Series Of Loosely Interconnected Events! (Ha! Ha! Geddit?) That may be called Drabbles._

 _Most of these are one-shots, depicting their own scenarios – but the general storyline of it will play out via connecting these stories. Sort of. Some of these are just straight out non-canon to this story, considering this is more a place to dump those pesky ideas that fall out of my head a lot. I should really see a Doctor about that._

 _Some of these ideas I flatout admit I plan on using them. Others I just felt like I wanted to write. Some stuff that I write is more because I wanted to make a particular scenario than having an express interest in the whole story, which I'm aware is wrong, and it's why I have yet to release anything spectacular. Or at all… *blushes awkwardly*_

 _Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, as they say – keep calm and ship like a horde of raving fanboys._

 _Author's SIDE-Note: It should be said that some of these will be more emotional than others. That said, tally ho!_

* * *

"So what you're saying-"

"-Is that we-"

"-are gonna have-"

"-A PARTY!?"

Ozpin visibly flinched. "Yes, yes. I know you're excited. I felt it was proper form to let the heroes with less of a spotlight organize the celebration as well as celebrate it." He adjusted his glasses and impaled Jaune with a glance.

"Stay within the budget, advocate against any unseemly activities, and make sure it runs smoothly. If I have to douse a student with my personal fire extinguisher-" he gestured vaguely to a red cylinder worn from a surprising amount of use, kept out of its glass casing because let's be honest "-that has combusted from too much 'Flambé Punch' like last semester when I let team RWBY organize it… well. It was not _I_ that paid for the burned down building."

"Good times," Nora giggled nostalgically, and Ren just sighed.

"I believe you'll find, Mrs Valkyrie, that my buildings will be significantly harder to burn if the party is shut down if I see so much as a _ember_."

"Awww~," she sounded genuinely disappointed, too, Ren comforting her with a silent, warm hand that she snuggled into not unlike a puppy.

"We won't let you down," Pyrrha cut in, wishing to stave off further conversation between the man in charge of their education and a girl that drank sugar like water. Jaune's nod of agreement was almost reflexive, very much used to delegating tact and thinking stuff to his second in command. That was also stronger, prettier, regal, more experienced… wait, why was he team leader again?

He paused in thought. Nodded. Because Ruby said so, right.

Pyrrha had a vague expression of interest that vanished when Jaune looked her way. Nora had a grin that said she was a cat and a very tempting ball of yarn was put in front of her, but ever the killjoy, Ren shook his head and mouthed 'no'.

 _No messing with the love lives' of the beauty and the blind, Nora_ he projected with a single glance honed and perfected by years of staring. The most hyperactive of team JNPR (and what was that anyway? Like the name of Jupiter's younger sister?) reluctantly scrunched her lips, cheeks puffed in obvious, adorable disgruntlement.

Ren wondered if the act was just reflex by now, or if she purposefully made herself look like that.

Ozpin, having now had his patience tried beyond its limits, abruptly pierced Jaune with a look, the team leader twitched into a paralysis, like a deer in headlights.

"If I may interject, I would please ask that you all leave. You have a lot of work to do."

JNPR nodded as one and left, Ozpin finally being given time to think-

As if on cue, the moment the professor pressed his temples, a student came screaming into his office – _why does it have to be screaming, can't they be in pain but be silent about it for once_ – wreathed in flame, and stopped and rolled.

He didn't even ask why the student was on fire this time, simply grabbing the fire extinguisher lethargically in a single hand and letting it spray, sighing as the student stopped burning to death.

 _Who thought it was a good idea to give teenagers custom-made military equipment?_

* * *

"Thank the guy that decided to give teenagers custom-made military equipment!"

"YANG! YANG! CAN YOU STOP MAKING THE SKY EXPLODE? WEISS IS TRYING TO SLEEP!"

"But it's only 10pm-"

"-4 AM!"

"-4 am, and I have to be prepared for the party… what day was it on again?"

"TWO DAYS FROM NOW! OR TOMORROW, WHATEVER!"

"That doesn't give me much time to prepare, so I should just be practicing non-stop, right?!"

Ruby actually gave it a moment of thought when Blake shouted "no!"

"NO!"

"Well whatever then, I just go practice my fireworks display elsewhere, maybe make it indoors!"

"THAT WOULD BE NICE! THANKS, YANG!"

Yang left, grumbling something about unappreciative teammates. Ruby slumped back from the window, giving a short, squeaky "fwew."

"IS SHE GONE OR DO I HAVE TO GO DOWN THERE AND-"

Weiss appeared in a hellstorm of ice and snow and _rage_. Ruby jumped forward, selflessly sacrificing herself for her cat-eared teammate, taking the brunt of the wrath.

"Easy, easy! Yang is gone – she's going to practice elsewhere. Indoors, I think."

Blake stared at Ruby incredulously. "Fireworks? _Indoors_?"

The leader of team RWBY made a soft, subtle "oh" of understanding, and then ran after Yang because something very very bad was about to happen.

Blake followed suit.

* * *

Nora knocked on the covered wall. It made no sound.

"Wow, fireproof, really?"

"Just in case," Jaune replied, eyeing the eventual party room covered in fireproof tarp. He felt that the only way he couldn't possibly mess this up was solely if he went to the complete extreme, hence the tarp.

As Party leader, a pun-y name bestowed by no less than Ren _and_ Pyrrha, he'd, ahem, 'hired' (just thinking about the forced labour made him strangely giddy) several students to work like slaves until the entire room was covered in tarp. The good parts was when he mentioned that they wouldn't getting ladders, as they were outside the budget and yes, that still means you have to cover the ceiling.

He was completely certain Cardin was dreaming of his grisly demise in the infirmary, after taking a particularly nasty fall ("what? The idiot must've fallen off the ladder!") but it was _so, so_ worth it.

Though he'd be lying if he didn't say the power trip was also pretty good.

He cackled loud and ominously, and his myriad of slaves and friends – but mostly slaves – continued on, as though not hearing him. It was after all the 12th time today he'd upended their ears with demonic laughter.

It was pretty freaking fantastic, actually.

And then the doors _exploded._

With a cackle that matched his own, a volley of fireballs blasted through the dust and smoke, an ominous silhouette morphing into a humanoid character as it walked through.

"LET'S LIGHT THE FUSE, BITCHES!"

* * *

In the distance, the indoor fireworks display routinely bellowed smoke and fire from the open door.

"I think she's mad," Blake noted dryly, taking in the high plumes of Yang's wrath.

"Yang doesn't get offended easily. She does get angry though…" Ruby intoned, bounding alongside Blake.

"Whatever," Weiss hissed, _hissed_ , like a pearlescent snake. "If Yang wants to throw a tantrum, she can do it on her own time. I'm trying to _sleep_."

"While running in the middle of the night?" Blake quipped.

"Keep talking kitty. See what happens."

* * *

"OH GOD WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE!?"

"AAAHHHHH I CAN TASTE MY OWN MELTING FLESH IN MY MOUTH!"

"WHO'S ARMS IS THIS _OH GOD STEVE_!"

"SOMETHING'S GIVING ME THE BAD TOUCH AND IT'S NOT THE FIRE!"

"SORRY!"

"STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!"

Jaune could only watch his rather small kingdom burn, the cacophony of screams and explosions haunting him, drowning out his own breathing.

One of his slaves – his favourite, he called him Stupid Face – had succumb to the panic and was hyperventilating in the fetal position over in the corner, his jagged, labored breathe the sure sign of a breakdown.

Ren had started crying, and even Nora was shocked into silence, sitting mutely beside him. The room had become an utter warzone, minus the dead people and injuries.

Pyrrha, bless his stronger, smarter, more accomplished – why was he team leader again? – second in command, was trying to douse the flames. She'd even organized a team of slaves to do it, and once assured that they could carry on themselves, went after the source.

Yang had taken to standing on a table of flames, her ammo seemingly infinite as she lobbed more and more fireballs indiscriminately at the building. She didn't even try to move when Pyrrha came down on her, slashing and stabbing. The human firebomber promptly spun on her heel and-

"YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!" Shouted one of the more rebellious slaves.

Pyrrha's flaming body crashed against one of the few walls covered in tarp. The tarp burst into flames.

 _Fireproof my ass._

Granted, he might be being too harsh on it – nowhere on the packaging did it say 'capable of withstanding Yang'.

Speaking of which, the literally emblazoned blonde had almost finished charging a fireball that would've levelled the building when a blur dashed through the fire and the smoke and _whammed_ her.

" **I WAS TRYING TO SLEEP, YOU CRAZY BITCH!** "

Weiss emerged from the blur looking like someone had smeared misery all over her face and she was not happy about it. At all.

Ruby appeared a moment later and saw Yang's face in the table, and her ass in the air. She blushed profusely and suggested "I think we should just get out of here."

"I concur." And then there was Blake, because obviously Blake was always there. Yang's butt twitched reflexively, and Ruby tried very hard not to think about what that meant.

"Just grab her by the ass or something – I don't care." Weiss muttered darkly, only the sweet temptation of revenge and utter hatred keeping her conscious now.

Blake volunteered for the duty, and Ruby tried very hard not to look as Blake grasped a fistful of gluteus maximus and pulled, ( _why can't we just grab her by the legs?)_ Yang's hair dragging like a mop. Ruby eventually volunteered as well, but moved her hand like the curvy ass was pure acid.

And then she was holding it, and it wasn't that bad, actually, very full-feeling and _firm_ – Ruby turned completely red, head to toes. Feeling up her sister's ass was the thought that elbow-dropped the camel's back, shattering it in half, and Ruby decided she'd had enough of this weird night. The thought was abandoned like a hot stove and she went to work with Blake, tense and blushing, the faunus giving Yang's sister a strange glance. This became the third thing she tried very hard not to think about.

The entrance abruptly slammed closed, and Jaune was _cackling_.

"HAHAHAHA!" And holy mother of dust did he sound like he actually was evil, "YOU FOOLS! FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS AGAINST MY KINGDOM, I, JAUNE ARC OF THE HOLY KINGDOM OF JAUNELAND, SENTENCE YOU TO DEATH!" The previously cowering horde of slaves ( _when did they heal? And where's Jaune's team?_ ) rallied together around team RWBY, some of them rather openly looking at Yang's ass like starved men at prime steak. Ruby wanted to – to – to _cover it up and hide it_ like some sort of dirty secret, the lecherous perverts staring at something so firm and full and _delicious_ and they _would not get it because that is mine-_

Ruby fumbled as she tried to draw crescent rose, caught off guard by her own thoughts. Where did that come from…?

"MY MINIONS, MY LOYAL SERVANTS IN SERVITUDE! KILL THEM, BUT LEAVE THE HEADS! _I WANT TROPHIES!_ "

Okay seriously now _what the fu-_

"ATTACK!"

Team RWBY, minus Yang, whose butt just twitched again as though attempting to relay a message – a taunt knowing Yang – and braced themselves for an onslaught.

Blake drew her blades, glinting mercilessly like fangs. Weiss readied her rapier and struck a perfectly balanced pose. Ruby loaded Cresecent Rose and aimed. And Yang's ass twitched once again, much to delight of most of their attackers, aggressive and ready to fight.

The slaves descended simultaneously, time almost seeming to slow as the epic battle began to unfurl, team RWBY shouting and attacking in unison-

Ozpin burst into the hall, the doors almost leaving their hinges, and boy did he look _pissed._

He looked to the fire _burning_ the fireproof tarps, Jaune sitting atop a throne of other students, all sweating and obviously uncomfortable from being his _seat_. He looked to the dozens of students about to _maul_ team RWBY, while the aforementioned 'King' watched and cackled.

The attack stopped mid-motion, the horde suddenly finding themselves vary awkward and with much better places to be. They vanished, like a swarm of rats, diverging around and avoiding Ozpin as they made their escape. He made no move to stop them.

"Jaune," in the headmaster's eyes, hellfire returned to the party room as something not quite human emerged from Ozpin's shadow and closed the door. There would be escape for him. "What, exactly, _are you doing?_ "

"Uhhhhhhhhh-" Jaune's throne abruptly vanished and scrambled out through the windows. There were on the 4th floor.

"Well?"

"I uhhhh-"

And then Ozpin's eyes were black and in front of Jaune and thousands of thin, creeping tendrils grabbed Jaune and pulled him kicking and screaming out of the building, disappearing with a high-pitched outcry of "HEEEELP MEEEEE!" The doors slammed shut, and Jaune's fate was denoted by a chillingly loud echo from outside. Which continued until he must have been gagged by something they didn't want to know about.

The team was almost sorry for Jaune. Very, very almost.

Yang's butt twitched in feigned pity, butt it came out as more sarcastic than intended.

* * *

Ruby began wondering if Ozpin was a sadist or just wanted to see what would happen when he left Yang's ass up and in groping distance, now in his office.

Blake explained the events, because if Weiss did it she'd make it sound like Yang committed genocide by existing, and if Ruby did it she'd be kept floundering and staring. Not staring at Ozpin, that is.

As for Yang, they could attempt it, but Ruby wasn't sure how well-versed the headmaster was in the language of tasty, tasty butt wiggles and twitches.

Speaking of such things, it was only Ruby's continued, ahem, scientifically platonic interest that let her notice one thing about that ass; it _actually was communicating_.

Subtle twitches and flexes denoted words. Squeezing and stretching denoted laughter, as completely disturbing as it was to watch. Ruby had a working theory that Yang's subconscious resided in that ass, and was taking temporary control of her muscles. It did not seem to have direct control over her bones, as it couldn't make her walk – the absurd mental image of Yang's lower half moving ass-first with her upper torso folded and trailing like a cape made her smile and suppress a giggle.

Oh, she was a bad person.

"…In conclusion, the events of tonight can be summarized as this; Yang was overexcited, kept shooting off loads-" Ruby almost guffawed but no one else seemed to notice her or _how that sounded_ "-and eventually stormed off to go release-" _oh come on Blake you did that on purpose_ "-at the area the party was being prepared at. Jaune had turned the students he'd hired into interns – excuse me slaves, and had deemed the area as 'Jauneland', his kingdom, which he attempted to have us decapitated and our heads mounted for attacking." It actually sounded pretty weird when it was laid out like that.

The butt gave a twitch Ruby was 67.936% sure meant it agreed, and she stared with wide eyes as she wondered.

The butt responded with a 'yes, I can' twitch.

 _Yang's ass can read my mind._ She pinched herself. _How did this become my life?_

"I thank you for sharing your side of the story," Ozpin responded, and the butt gave a "thank you, you're welcome" twitch with a strange air of politeness.

Ruby decided she might want to see a doctor.

The butt slyly said "baby, I can be all the medicine you can ever need."

Ruby almost threw up in her mouth, but held it in and excused herself as her team was dismissed.

She put as much distance as possible between her and her team, receiving some strange looks and a "you can't escape, my little red!" from Yang's ass.

The butt's threat proved true. By the time she reached the toilets, _it was waiting for her_.

"You can't escape me, my little red."

She turned and ran the other way, semblance engaged as her breathing and heart rate accelerated. It beat like the hooves of a fleeing deer.

The monster in form fitting black leather was at the stairwell, Yang's brilliant blond tresses cascading over the stairs as it _wiggled up them_.

"You can't escape me, my little red."

She turned again and jumped from the window, desperation closing in, hooves beating faster and faster in her ears-

She engaged Crescent rose and fired again and again, ringing like church bells as something dreadful and terrifying loomed near, wreathed in black and-

"You can't escape me, my little red."

She could only see it because of the moon. It floated deftly, hovering almost, directly above her, contrasting heavily against the stark white.

Poised to strike.

The sharp axe kick was definitely not in Yang's style of fist attacks, but the ass somehow knew the move perfectly. The muscles on it flexed and the leg rocketed down, forcing the air of Ruby's lungs and giving her a sudden hammer-force of speed towards the ground.

Crescent Rose tumbled out of her grasp, and she was incapable of slowing, the ground looming closer and closer. But the ass wasn't finished, wrapping it's cheeks around Ruby's throat as she fell, trying to scream but also trying to breath as the wind suddenly stopped and-

* * *

Ruby woke up screaming.

Covers tossed over and sweat clinging uncomfortably to her head, she breathed, gasping as the memories of the firm ass-muscles choking her returned.

She… but the… ass… what?

And then like most dreams, it promptly drained away, leaking from her short term memories like water down a sink. She vaguely recalled black leather, but could no longer place the words.

She looked to her team's dorm room, watching the clock tick in its eternal rhythm – _tick, tock, tick, tock_ – and the peaceful breathing of her team members.

Ruby let herself relax, tension fading just like her dream. Every nightmare was a dream in the end… right?

Two leathery cheeks clenched tightly around the back of her neck. She felt the words, as the muscles moved in tandem.

"You can't escape me, my little red."

And _twisted_.

* * *

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 _So how about that ending huh? Stick around! I promise there won't be any more creepypasta parodies._

 ** _SHI-EDIT (First Edit): Also, review today, or Yang's leathery ass cheek's will haunt your dreams, and not in a good way you ero-baka!_**

 ** _BAN-EDIT (Final Edit): You may begin drawing Fanart of Yang's leathery ass please._**


	2. A Field Of Roses

**A Series Of Loosely Interconnected Events  
(that may be called Drabbles)**

 **2: A Field of Roses**

* * *

 _Greetings ladies and gentlemen of the RWBY fanfiction community!_

 _Back for more, eh? Well, alright. I hope not to disappoint. This chapter will not involve as much humour, I think, mainly because it sort of involves well-_

 _ **Character death, extreme feels, author cried by the end and tried to commit suicide by excreting too much fluids from eyes.**_

 _ **It will hit you so hard in the feels you will cry kittens.**_

 _ **You've been warned. Carry on.**_

* * *

The red snow left a trail.

At first, it was just a red puddle, viscous and not quite sinking into the snow. The circle rounded out into an oval as one went along, further and further, curve dying away into a long streak of beautiful red that sank slowly into the snow.

The drifting, listless snow, as confused as she was, seemingly without home.

She crawled, even when she knew what that trail led to. Knew that she wasn't prepared to see the same thing beneath _her_ as under Weiss and Blake.

Blooming flowers. Blooming puddles of flowers. Blooming red puddles of flowers lying still in the snow, slowly being buried by the snowflakes, encased in white beauty.

And a peaceful expression.

She crawled, even when she knew she'd never bare to see it. But she didn't have much left. Her flower was almost finish blooming. And she refused to leave without saying goodbye.

She'd said it to the almost sleeping faces of Blake and Weiss. Neither responded, but the heartbreaking sentiment was strangely worth it.

She crawled as the wound petered out, having not much blood left to give. She wasn't helping with the movement, keeping her heart pumping hard, but she didn't care. She wouldn't leave them. That's not what a leader does.

And then she saw her, against a tree, striking against the white with her flaming orange scarf, voluminous blonde hair stained red. Her scarf was stained to, absorbing some of her flower, but just meant she didn't have much time left.

Neither did she.

She crawled even when the pain became piercing, throbbing, an impossible hurdle to conquer when dying. But she didn't care. She wouldn't leave them. _She wouldn't leave them_.

That's not what a leader does.

Yang didn't give a sign she even knew where she was anymore, probably delirious from blood loss. That was okay. She'd be okay. They'd be together. That was all that mattered.

Ruby gave one last burst of strength as she crawled next to Yang, against the tree, minutes away from death as the snow continued to fall, encasing them in white beauty.

Yang suddenly gasped, making her flower bloom more. Beautiful flowers.

" _My little rose._ "

She could almost see her; the smile, the silver eyes, the welcoming embrace. Delirious and in excruciating pain, Ruby thought she saw her mother calling.

 _I'll be there soon… Mom…_

She couldn't feel her neck anymore, but she could look.

 _Sis too… and then we'll… be a family again…_

" _Ruby_ ," Yang suddenly gasped so softly the silver-eyed teen blinked, and summoned enough power to twist her head slightly.

" _Don't… tell me your…"_ Yang's plea was obvious, even when dying, even when her rose – _that's what it is, a rose –_ was almost finished blooming.

Ruby just nodded, too weak to do much else. Yang didn't speak, but the grievous guilt and pain – more than physical – sparkled in her eyes.

" _It's… s'kay…"_ Ruby murmured, as softly as Yang. Around them, the snow drifted and fell, encasing them in white beauty.

" _We're… together…"_ And that was all that mattered to Ruby. She wouldn't leave her. That's not what a sister does.

Ruby was abruptly determined to do one last thing – she wouldn't let Yang go crying. It was intense, struggling to lift her arm, but she did, and she with surprising strength pulled Yang closer. They came together, resting on each other, close as two people could be.

She wiped away the tears, slowly, tenderly, just like their mother used to when they were sad.

Yang, already so pale, became paler as the last drops of her blooming flower were added.

" _Ru…by…"_ With a sudden breeze of snow, Yang Xiao-long's spirit was carried away to parts unknown, perhaps misunderstood, or perhaps right all along.

Ruby just held tighter and let herself go, having no reservations for leaving this world in tears personally.

None knew when Ruby died, precisely. Because she just spent whatever time she had left holding Yang's hand, stroking her hair, another thing their mother did to console them.

Smiling softly, Ruby closed her eyes, and felt what she could swear was their mother finally wrap her up in her arms. She felt like she was flying, flying in those arms, laughing as Yang pouted in jealousy, and her father laughed at the display. Blake and Weiss suddenly appeared, both smiling, laughing, joking as Ruby's dad asked them if they wanted a ride on Ruby's mother too. She suddenly noticed the Roses that came up to their knees, and when Ruby was let down, she finally realized where she was.

A field of roses.

Yang was waving for Ruby at the other end. "Come on, Ruby!" Her sister cried out, the gentle, warm spring breeze bringing a pleasant smell. Behind Yang, everyone else was gesturing too, smiling and laughing as they enjoyed something so much better than what they'd gotten before. What they deserved.

She wouldn't leave them… she wouldn't leave her. That's not what a leader does… nor what a sister does.

Ruby smiled and called back. "I'm coming, sis!"

And ran into the field of roses.

* * *

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 _*pulls out guitar* This song was... *sniff* inspired by The Cure... *sniff*_

 _OH SOMEBODY KILL ME PLEASE, SOMEBODY KILL ME PLEEEEASE! I'M ON MY KNEES, SINGING PRETTY PLEASE - KIILLLLL MEEEEE! I WANT TO DIIIIIIIE! PUT A BULLET IN MY HEEEEAAAAAA_ AAAA _DDD..._

 _Whew. That said-_

 ** _Review, follow and favorite today, or have my horrendous singing voice gently coax you to sleep. Forever~!_**


	3. Awkward Conversations Around The WC

**A Series Of Loosely Interconnected Events  
(that may be called Drabbles)**

 **3: Awkward Conversations Around The Metaphorical (and for one scene literal) Watercooler**

* * *

 _Greetings ladies and gentlemen of the RWBY fanfiction community!_

 ** _Holy crap!_** _On the day I updated the story with the second chapter, **216 people viewed it!** Not a single person left a review - let's be honest, how many of us really do, even when we really like something? - but still! 216 people have decided to get in from the ground up and become a part of both this story and this RWBY community!_

 _I mean, I know we have our (shipping) differences, but it'll be a beautiful day when Volumes 3+ and whatever finally release - because I am convinced with enough coverage this fandom of ours is going to_ explode _. And then we'll all be the hipsters, who did this before anyone thought it was cool!_

 _(Also, I am writing these in a different order than is apparent, you know. This chapter, 'Awkward Conversations Around the Metaphorical Watercooler', long for ACAMW, which can be remembered as a pneumonia by 'Asian Cooking Assaults Motherly Wombats',_ _was written_ _ **before**_ _the previous chapter. So you know._

 _Or maybe I'm just rambling, and I'll release a bunch of other ideas long before this chapter gets read.)_

 _That said, let's roll!_

* * *

 **Weiss**

"So… you didn't see anything, right?"

"Right. Of course." Ruby quickly agreed, frantically nodding.

"Because the Schnee Heiress doesn't do such things. Of course."

"Yep, yesiree."

"Never."

"Ah-huh."

"Talk and I will destroy you."

"We've established that, yep."

"Goodbye."

"Later."

The team leader left, and tried to avoid reacting to any other 'sounds' that came from Weiss' bed.

Especially the ones that mentioned her name.

* * *

 **Blake**

"Ruby, I'm telling you - it was catnip."

"Blake, you were _huffing a bag and moaning as you breathed it in_."

"It's not a _drug_ or paint or whatever! It's just _Catnip!_ "

"I opened up the closest and you had your _entire head in the bag_."

"It – it might not _look_ that good but I'm telling you, it's not an addiction! I can quit at _any_ time!"

"Then _why_ are you still huffing it now? Put that down!"

Blake hissed like a cat and scurried away, bag held in her teeth.

"Blake! BLAKE! Oh come on!"

* * *

 **Yang**

"So I think I might be gay."

Ruby guffawed hard enough to rupture something important, spouting a mouthful of water instead of letting the pressure seize around her kidneys or something. "W-what?" _Yang?_ What was her sister- "What about all the boys though?" …Okay, no, that came out the wrong way. Ruby didn't mean –

"Rubes," Yang began lowly, " _the_ _boys_ are why I think I might be gay."

"Jaune isn't _that_ bad." But Ruby _did_ hear a few people talk about the man being a natural 'convertor', and never in a nice tone, though she'd brushed it off at the time.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah! He's funny, smart, dependable, handsome-"

And then Yang had this look on her face that said _**Checkmate.**_

Ruby froze in utter dread. _No, no no no no Yang you conniving scheming wicked witch!_

"So, Rubes," and Yang was purring and Ruby just wanted to die, "sounds like _somebody_ has a cru-"

"DON'T YOU SAY IT!" Ruby leapt from her place and attempted to smother Yang with her hands, only managing to repress the laughter that came out of her at the reaction.

Yang grasped Ruby's thin arms in a single hand and pulled them away, screaming "YOU WANT THE JAUNE! YOU WANT THE JAUNE!"

Ruby blushed and furiously attempted to maul her sister, a frenzy that left both of them rolling around in the middle of the night in the hallway, next to a watercooler.

"YOU WANT TO FEEL HIM PIN YOU DOWN AS HE NERVOUSLY ASKS FOR PERMISSION, FEEL HIS SCRAGGLY HAIR IN YOUR HANDS, FEEL HIS WEEDY ARMS WRAP AROUND YOU AND HESITANTLY GRAB A FISTFUL OF YOUR-"

"JAUNE IS A VERY NICE FRIEND BUT I DON'T _WANT THE JAUNE!_ "

Yang smiled cruelly as they struggled. "THEN I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU'RE TAKING THE INITIATIVE ON SOMETHING BETTER!"

Ruby abruptly realized exactly what was happening. A fistful of pure, fleshy _Yang_ in her hands, warmth pressed against her whole body like a passionate blanket.

And Yang just kept grinning, grinning because she'd won the game the moment they went to the watercooler for a late night drink.

Her older sister whispered, sultry, grinning, and tender – like a succubus - right in her ear, a breath of warmth blooming against her face. "Jaune may convert with a look, Ruby, _but my way feels so much better._ " And forcefully grasped a handful of Ruby's ass.

A flutter of red petals denoted Ruby's escape, a scarlet trail as dark as her cheeks, and Yang cackled.

"Run, run as fast as you can! The bad touch, from your sister Yang!" _Eh, close enough._

Feeling the last of Ruby's presence vanish, Yang doubled over in laughter, a genuine happiness bubbling within at seeing her so-sweet-it's-a-sin, innocent baby sister flee, blushing like a rose.

As she straightened back up, her smile lessened, but remained genuine, an almost mournful look on her face.

She was normally not that shameless, but it was her duty as a sister to help Ruby. The poor girl was suffering from nightmares, far too many of them, waking up and crying so softly it took Blake mentioning it for Yang to notice. Yang was helping the only way she knew how.

She hoped it was enough.

* * *

 **OMAKE: Jaune (because some kind of continuity would be good)**

"WHADDYA MEAN EXPERIMENTAL TECHNOLOGY!?"

"Exactly as the name implies, Jaune – technology with a glitch or two that may or may not kill you. Or give you a third head. I knew a man who tested some stimulants and he grew brea-"

"I DON'T WANNA KNOW!"

"Excellent, because I wasn't going to tell you. Just remember, test out the devices labelled, report any flaws, or at least make sure to remain dignified in case they explode your guts all over the wall. Have a nice day."

"I'M SORRY PROFESSOR OZPIN, PLEASE! I WAS WRONG!"

But Ozpin wasn't listening, closing the metal door shut and casting Jaune into darkness.

The former king breathed heavily as he took in what the hell just happened. This had to be the most twisted detention he'd ever seen, and he wrestled desperately against the bindings.

In the darkness, a machine with red eyes and a crotch level grabbing and rotating device whirred to life, approaching the bound Jaune. Jaune had seconds to scream.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU!? KEEP AWAY, KEEP AWA _AGHHHHHHIIEEEEE_ _ **AHHHHHHHH!**_ "

* * *

.

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 _For those of you who do not get the reference... Crotchitiser. Think of that word. Can you only wonder in morbid curiosity what it means? Go on, use Google - or Bing, if you are a soulless ginger - and find out. I know you want to. For those that do not rely on such methods I congratulate your childhood. Hint hint._

 ** _Review, follow and favorite today, or have Weiss moan_ your _name during particular activities._**


	4. Pliot Chapter, Creeping Thorns

**A Series Of Loosely Interconnected Events  
(that may be called Drabbles)**

 **4: Pliot Chapter, Creeping Thorns!**

* * *

 _Greetings ladies and gentlemen of the RWBY fanfiction community!_

… _You know, one day I've gotta get a different intro. Maybe…_

" _IIIIIIII WAKE UP IN THE MORNING WITH A CUP OF_ COFFEE _!"_

 _Nah. Copyrighted. Anyway._

 _Remember how I mentioned that this place was a compendium of things that leak out of my head? Well this chapter is one of them. One of many, or a few, it depends._

 _You see, sometimes I have greater ideas than oneshots of silliness and obviously high-class tit-grabbing, strangled-by-ass-cheeks humour, coagulating into a series of loosely interconnected events, designed to make you have feels in parts and laugh like your 12 in others. Or all of it, really._

 _Sometimes I have something I want to write a story about. A full one. Like, not an oneshot and everything. With proper humour. I know – shocking right?_

 _(The first of the backstories for that story, FYI, has been uploaded the same time as this chapter. It's called 'Little Candle' and is about - oops. Not my story to tell!)_

 _Well people who said I couldn't write a good story about butt-strangulation, here you have it! Something_ different! _The_ _pilot to an idea I had for a while –_

 _ **Creeping Thorns, a minor (so minor I personally consider it not worthy of the crossover category, really) crossover with Prototype. A… bit darker than my usual stuff. Fuck, it's actually a lot darker – but hey, if you've read Blood Rose**_ **you'll be fine~!**

 _ **Planned Summary:  
**_ _When I was young, I was changed. I am something less, yet something… more. My name is Ruby Rose, and I am not human. Slight Prototype X-over. Sisterly bonding, because why not?_

 _ **Planned pre-chapter thingy you add for context:  
**_ _"25 years ago, Vale discovered a Grim with an interesting quality – the ability to control and absorb biomass._

" _Apparently, it had been living amongst society for hundreds of years, due to its advanced ability to imitate the people – the biomass – it consumed and blend in. It was found to be nearly unkillable – immune to decapitation, dismemberment, and disembowelment. The locations of its primary brain, its nervous system, and other aspects of the biological phenomena that should make it classifiable as organic are still unknown. So far, scientific study has concluded that it exists, is clinically indestructible, can survive without food and water but requires raw biomass, can transmute itself into various forms, and perfectly imitate any human it has 'consumed.' It also expresses the ability to evolve, as it has been for the past hundreds of years._

" _Attempts to replicate its abilities have failed. For 25 years, the Creeping Thorns project, named after the appearance of the creature's most notable attribute - its tentacles that appear in combat and during consumption – has produced absolute disaster. Hundreds of test subjects have gone insane from the collective consciousness, the morality and ethics involved, or have surrendered to their instincts and murdered and consumed staff._

" _The creature has been subjected to all methods possible for extermination, yet has proven resistant. Eventually, it was agreed upon that the only way to end its 'life' was to starve it too death, but even that proved too little as it went into hibernation and is somehow sustaining itself indefinitely. Even when comatose the creature has still proven to be indestructible._

" _A set of harvested samples from the Grim were sent to the other kingdoms for what was part of an initiative to create a think-tank, something that could hopefully end the threat of its mere existence forever._

" _There were other organizations, however, that felt the samples were being… misused. They took the liberty of intercepting all convoys, somehow knowing exactly their exact route and position. There were no survivors._

" _The White Fang shortly thereafter took credit for the attack, stating that the 'humans can't hide their horrors forever.' Attempts to retrieve the samples have failed, miserably. It is unknown where they are at this present time, a sort of crisis overtaking the Kingdom's much like the Atlas Dust Bomb crisis, where a mistakenly shipped box containing an accidentally primed explosive was given to Atlas' capital. They assumed it was a declaration of war, and years of peacetalk has had little to qualm the flames of mistrust the people of Atlas feel for Vale. War within the decade was expected, and then never came, but still simmers noticeably. It would take just a spark to annihilate civilization._

" _However, the world is not as dark as it seems. While it is bloody and violent and often times tragic, the White Fang sent out three teams to collect the samples, with three cases specifically for it._

" _When the teams returned, two teams had collected the sample, and the other had an empty case. They talked of an accident that caused the sample to fall into a ravine, plunging hundreds of feet below the surface, lost to all but the fabled Grim down below. Bed time stories of monsters with thousands of eyes and teeth that consumed any unwary cave-explorer, supposedly using their corpses to birth young._

" _But something else had happened as well. An impossible series of circumstances lined up – the one who'd dropped the sample looking not a moment longer, the sample picking up exactly the right speed not to shatter, and none bothering to venture in the ravine, all of them scared beyond sense of the creatures that lurked below._

" _Because when the White Fang member looked away, the sample encountered a ridge. It went over the ridge –_ over the ravine _– and landed intact on the other side within a bush. A bush that would later be withered by the elements and cause the sample to move. A small flood would ensue, carrying it gently to another location, out to sea. From the sea, it went west, and eventually came ashore. Years had passed. It was now 10 years since the sample was dropped, and 35 years since the Grim was captured._

" _It was also Ruby's fifth birthday. A celebratory day, to be sure, one Ruby lived through with smiles. As the day wound down, and the small party dispersed, Ruby went to play with Yang. They ventured into the gray forest before their parents could even say a word._

" _Summer calmed Taiyang, and heedless of her own fate in a very short while to come, telling her husband to let them play. 'Let them be kids for a little while longer. They have their whole life ahead of them.'_

" _Ruby had proved inexhaustible, far more so than Yang, who was usually capable of keeping up – except for this day. She opted to stay behind and catch a breath as Ruby ran into a clearing, laughing and smiling._

" _An impossible series of circumstances led to that moment, that situation where everything was set to go wrong. And it did. Ruby went in alone, past Yang's eyesight. The break in sight lasted just long enough._

" _She eventually settled down on the clearing's edge, the opposite side from Yang. She slumped against a tree, letting herself relax and hope with childish wonder that her next birthday would be just as fun._

" _She felt something poke her side, and she, blinking, looked to a bush. A vial with something strange inside protruded, weathered by age and looking very brittle._

" _She gently reached for it, sought to touch it, thinking only in terms of curiosity –_

" _An impossible series of circumstances led to that moment. A mistake, a leap, a drought, a flood, and ocean currents. At that moment, something else improbable happened._

" _A breeze blew by, startling Ruby._

" _And the vial fell from her grasp._

" _In another life, given another chance at the odds,_ _Ruby might've put the vile back down after thinking it over, after seeing its malevolent pulsation. She would've gone home, and never found this place again. But fate took that choice out of her small, five-year old hands._

" _In the shattering of glass, no, as the vial fell to the earth, the world was changed. A hero, destined to be emulated, to have a holiday in her memory, to have a legacy –_

" _Became so much more."_

* * *

 _Oops_.

The glass shattered, and Ruby had just a moment to react before the contents suddenly _writhed_. It slid and spread like a black-red raindrop, blooming all over the ground.

She made to scream, when the sample brushed against her leg and sent a paralyzing pulse throughout her body – an evolution that came from years of genetic overhauls.

She could only breathe, so lost, so confused, so terrified as her body didn't so much as twitch in response to the slimy, cold tendrils creeping up her body.

In that moment, right before the sample neutralized her consciousness, she could only hope this thing didn't get to Yang.

* * *

 _What a day!_

Yang almost felt like the sun was shining brighter today, nearly making the drag, morbidly gray trees of Patch white in colour.

Ruby's birthday party bad been depressingly small, Yang disappointed that her cute little sister – who still pronounced 'w's instead of 'r's – had so little friends.

But Yang had simple solution to that – she'd make 'em for her! If Yang's friends didn't want to hang out with the cutest thing in existence, well, bad for them! That left more cuteness for her!

Now completely recovered from her afternoon dash, and frowning as the sun set – not a good thing, really, on an island said to be coloured by death and sadness – the little sunshine dragon decided to get the birthday girl and head back.

She walked through the clearing, the forest silent, as it always was. Birds flew elsewhere for every season, and you would never hear the Grim 'til it was too late.

Unless you were a badass huntress, like her mom.

(And dad, she guessed, but dad didn't carry the cutest thing ever in his womb for 9 months and _still_ kickass!)

"Ru~by~!" She called, so swept up by her after-party euphoria she ignored most normal poise and skipped through the clearing.

It didn't take long for her to realize something was wrong.

For one, Ruby was _never_ quiet. Not when she was sad, angry, happy – dear Dust was she loud when she was happy- or even _asleep_. She had this adorable little snoring sound that sounded like a puppy, not particularly loud, utterly un-hate-able, but still noise.

And Ruby was being deathly still, faced away from her, head between her knees.

Unease fluttered in Yang's stomach.

"Ru-ruby?"

Slowly, the forest all too quiet, the cracked moon rising ominously, Ruby's head turned.

* * *

 **From here, there are two directions the story can take. Or, at least, that I can see. Technically there is a third, but the explanation of that one is going to the definition of** _ **brief**_ **.**

 _ **Path 1:  
**_ _The Creeping Thorns does what it did to Alex Mercer in Prototype – wipes the slate clean with memories returning like an amnesiac. Of course, and spoilers if you haven't played the game, but this means that Ruby dies in that clearing, and her body becomes used by the Creeping Thorns as a 'host'. If you follow Prototype 2's logic (fuck that game though, straight from the fanbase's mouth) then Ruby has the ability to infect others with the power._

 _When 'Ruby' finishes turning around, her stare is unnervingly blank, and she softly mutters 'Yang', having just finished assimilating poor sweet 5 year old Ruby's memories. Yang runs forward, heedless of the danger, and hugs 'Ruby', telling her sister to stop scaring her like that._

 _The Creeping Thorns biological instinct to consume sudden pervades, and 'Ruby' extends tendrils intent on skewering Yang. However, something else happens instead – 'she' feels moisture on her neck._

 _Sorting through the memories to a face not dissimilar to 'her' own, 'Ruby' realizes these are tears. Initially, 'she' assumes they're part of the prey's emotional reactional to death and danger – crying out of fear. But she reaches out with her senses, fledging as they are, and senses the chemical balances that make up emotions. Yang isn't scared._

 _She's relieved, and happy, and… some mixture of chemicals she can't identify. But it's all unmistakably pointed at 'her'. 'She' can't understand why this creature, 'her' prey, would be crying for her. A strange feeling wells up in the monster's chest._

 _Its first introduction to humanity is love._

 _From there, my personal guideline thins a little, being a bit more freeform, but generally follows like this;_

 _Sometime after this, Summer dies on her mission, like is hinted at in canon. Yang has yet to discover Ruby's abilities, but is growing ever more suspicious of her sister's late night visits into the forest, those visits being Ruby's hunting expeditions for biomass – Beowolves, those sorts of things._

 _Taiyang, Ruby and Yang's father, has had suspicions of his own for a while. However, with Summer's death, he finally slips enough to act on them._

 _On the same night as they Yang plans to confront Ruby, Taiyang does as well. Taiyang does it first, going to see Ruby in the middle of the night and bringing her to the living room. They talk, and he finally asks 'what have you done with my daughter?'_

 _Ruby says she doesn't understand what he means, inwardly reflecting that she might have to kill this man to remain in cover. He grows frustrated, yelling that causes Yang to awaken._

 _Yang, bleary eyed, walks into the living room._

 _Taiyang finally loses it and attacks, hitting Ruby with a blow that pierces straight through her chest. Yang is mortified, speechless at what she's found, but she can't help but call out 'RUBY!' and launch to her sister's aid._

 _Taiyang, now deranged, hits Yang back into a wall, hard enough to crack something important, and strand her somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness._

 _Withdrawing his arm from Ruby, he moves over to Yang, so blinded by rage and grief that he thinks Yang has been 'turned' by whatever monster has replaced his daughter. Ruby, meanwhile, has suffered her first truly crippling injury, and is having a tough time pulling herself together._

 _He gathers his Aura, enough of it to level the house, - Ruby feeling a strange chemical mixture within herself, fear and worry and choking concern - and throws a fist at Yang-_

 _Ruby's tendrils pierce his back and come out of his heart, covered in blood and gore and viscera. (_ _ **Whether you want it to be truly M-rated violent or not is your concern. I think within the story's context it would make sense, but yeah)**_ _Taiyang gurgles, blood overflowing from his mouth, and falls over, dead._

 _Ruby retracts the tendrils, but with her sister in full sight, Yang sees exactly what Taiyang was talking about. Her little sister, creeping black-red tendrils coated in her father's blood, standing there. Yang feels the sudden urge to throw up, and she does, just to the side, about to pass out from everything that has happened._

 _Ruby suddenly approaches, and Yang presses herself against the wall, horrified and barely conscious. She weakly warns Ruby to get back, but she presses on, and as Yang closes her eyes, crying in despair and dismay-_

 _Ruby hugs her, and soothes her. "He was going to hurt you. I couldn't let him hurt you…" She says, holding Yang and stroking her hair gently._

 _Yang, despite everything that has happened, finds it within herself to calm down. She becomes calm enough that she falls asleep._

 _Jump to the next morning. Yang wakes up, thinking she has a weird dream, but that thought is quickly dashed when Ruby informs her about her… nature. She hasn't the heart to tell Yang that she isn't Ruby, but a monster wearing her form like clothing, so she omits that part but explains just about everything else. Ruby agonizes for several seconds to see if Yang will still accept her._

 _And Yang almost doesn't. Her sweet, innocent, young sister was twisted by chance and became a_ thing _, a thing that killed their father. That…_ ate _living, breathing beings. It was all too much – when one thought breaks through everything else._

 _Ruby, in an almost nostalgic twist of events, is looking crestfallen, hair shadowing her face, fingertips pressed together. The sight of Ruby acting so..._ Ruby _manages to convince her that while her sister has… changed, she's still her sister._

 _And her sister was hurting._

 _Yang quietly approaches Ruby, and the Creeping Thorns is hoping with a strangely large amount of dread that her sister isn't going to attack._

 _Yang hugs Ruby, and Ruby is shocked. Surprised. Her emotions twist into that unfamiliar form again, becoming something she'd seen in Yang and had always been there but was only now noticing in herself._

 _Yang accepts Ruby. And Ruby feels herself crying, and wonders why that is._

* * *

 _ **Annnnnnd scene. From this point onward, the ideas get narrower and thinner, becoming so general you could take things in practically any direction (where you could insert your ships if you wanted to – hint hint)**_

 _ **General concepts I would personally explore if you went this way:**_

 _ **-Yang is dealing with a monumental amount of stress, and is slowly cracking under it. (also where you could insert your ships if you want to – hint hint)**_

 _ **-Tension between her and her sister, due to one being human and the other… less so. Yang does not resent her sister, but is terrified of her. May or may not eventually overcome this fear.**_

 _ **-Yang refuses to leave Ruby alone, due to Ruby's…urges. Separating them leads to problems.**_

 _ **-Whenever Ruby feels an urge to consume coming on, she finds Yang, and gets Yang to help her through it. You could make it adorable by having Yang sing a lullaby.**_

 _ **-Ruby is desperately trying to keep the secret that she isn't actually 'Ruby'. Others, those that have been afflicted by the sample, have knowledge of this information due to their own experiences.**_

 _ **-Cinder was infected by the sample. The unknown, the last sample, you may do with as you please.(perhaps torchwick can finally kick some ass for once?)**_

 _ **-Ruby gains powers much like in the actual Prototype by consuming. In this case, Grim. If you follow Prototype 2, then she could become stronger by consuming specific types of Grim too. Could create a resource hunt, so to speak, with Cinder and Ruby both seeking out particular Grim for power.**_

 _ **-They can be homeless for a time, and learn to survive in that manner. Yang, due to this, becomes almost parental to Ruby, raising her baby sister. Though Yang being 7 and Ruby being 5 might be a bit much. Alternatives include Ozpin or Qrow taking them in. A darker story might include Cinder's crowd taking them in.**_

 _ **-Yang may or may not get seriously wounded in a fight, and Ruby can only save her life by imbuing her sister with some of her power. Yang then becomes sturdier, more resistant to things, but is not the 'survives decapitation and practically everything' resistant of her sister. Giving her the same abilities as Ruby could be a thing – sisterly monsters, and all – but is a big maybe. The obvious strength is coolness, but the biggest weakness is a literary thing. The main character, Ruby, should ultimately have problems only she can deal with. Giving the powers to someone else takes away from the individuality of the main character, and can lead to being the obviously worse decision. You may sidestep this by just making Yang sturdier only, but not by much.**_

 _ **-Perhaps for comedic affect, but Ruby is the only character to suffer what is otherwise hilariously life-threatening injuries. Such as having her head crushed by a piano, or being dropped from orbit. Or something. Depends on the gore level of story. Casually dismembering your characters makes for great dark humour, but doesn't fit in a slice of life.**_

 _ **-Ruby is her own workshop. After learning how to control her biomass properly, she can manipulate it into weapons and tools. Literally, anything she can imagine, as long as she has enough biomass and comprehension, she can make.**_

* * *

 _ **Those are the ideas off the top of my head.**_

 _ **Path 2:  
**_ _Similar to path 1, except Ruby is still Ruby. The sample becomes a part of her, but does not control her. The obvious differences are in the particular of scenes – Ruby wouldn't be hoping she doesn't have to kill her dad, the thought wouldn't go through a 5 year old's head in the first place._

 _ **General concepts I would personally explore if I went this way:**_

 _ **-Ruby has a very low self-esteem, and has learned to cope with her nature by being bubbly (canon Ruby). Alternatives include you being a heartless bastard and make her pragmatic, or perhaps any personality you see fit. Because no one likes an OC, but we all seem to be perfectly friggin' fine with the main character of anything becoming something he/she's not. (*coughnarutocough*)**_

 _ **-When Ruby makes Crescent Rose,**_ **she** **makes Crescent Rose** _ **. Out of her own biomass. Meaning it can change at whim, and she can produce it from her person like any tendril – but for the sake of keeping her nature secret, would just carry it on her.**_

 _ **-Pretty much any of the ideas stated in the previous Path concepts, except the obvious ones that don't work.**_

* * *

 _ **And now for the dreaded… Path… 3!**_

 _ **Path 3:  
**_ _Yang dies. At some point – perhaps as a result of Taiyang getting to Yang in time before Ruby can stop him. And then Ruby consumes Yang, wanting to keep her sister with her forever._

 _While I admit there is some potential for this Path, I… you're on your own. I'm sorry. I'm just keeping to Path 1 or 2 for when I write this. Yang is best character, Ruby and Yang sisterly bonding is too kawaii, and if either dies I'll find you. With a pointy reckoning. For every man there is a shipping for which he will proudly die for, defend the right to have a fandom for which he can belong to – and every fan will ship with his bare hands in desperation, and shed his blood to stem the flood to barricade wrong shippings._

 _ **Might as well get this out of the way… ge-general concepts I would consider… I'm gonna lay down…**_

 _ **-Ruby can call forth Yang's voice from the back of her mind. This results in humorous situations where Yang will say inappropriate things, such as if Ruby was talking to Glynda Goodwitch and Yang sudden says 'I wonder if she uses that stick to hit anything else'.**_

 _ **-Ruby could use Yang's appearance for infiltration purposes. Better than that, she could let Yang 'free', and give control over her body to her sister. She would always feel like she needs to do this permanently, lock the cockpit door and throw away the key so to speak, but remains in a deadlock. Yang wouldn't want the freedom if Ruby was suffering like she was, but Ruby couldn't stand the horrific notion of Yang being**_ **inside** _ **her for much longer. Much moral dilemmas ensue.**_

 _ **And that's it. That's Path 3. Just… hold on… I'm gonna cry just from the thought…**_

 _ **Okay, better now.**_

 _ **Now, if you have read this all the way through, I thank you for your time. You've indulged a crazy man in his ramblings. Not a good habit, but something I am thankful for anyway.**_

 _ **You may feel free to use the idea of the crossover, editing or adding or omitting whatever details you use. Ignore all my Paths and recommendations and write something awesome anyway.**_

 _ **Fanfiction is cool like that.**_

 _ **All I ask is a PM letting me know that you've used it – I wanna read it! I always endeavor to write something**_ **I** _ **want to read, and this is no different!**_

 _ **Of course, I'm gonna be writing the full thing myself at some point. Once I figure out which Path (1 or 2, NOT 3) I'll use. 1 has the most potential but I also really like 2. Ah, first world problems.**_

 _ **Anyway. That's the end of the info dump ladies and gentleman. Tune in next time(s) for more Yang related shenanigans, Jaune is 'punished' and SNAAAAAAKE!**_

 _ **SNEAK PEAK (at the arc):**_

" _Ruby… why are you spying on me?"_

"… _Nanomachines."_

" _JAUNE IS NAKED AND SINGING DAISY GIRL IN THE HEADMASTER'S OFFICE!"_

" _So… that's your secret Yang…"_

"RUBY! _"_


	5. Hard snake, Jaune get's violated and-

**A Series Of Loosely Interconnected Events  
(that may be called Drabbles)**

 **5: Hard Snake, Jaune Get's Violated and Ruby-**

 **Part I Of 'I Don't Have A Name For This Arc' arc**

* * *

 _Greetings ladies and gentlemen of the RWBY fanfiction community!_

 _I have received 37 copyright strikes from the people who own Shaman King – the latest one simply titled in a brilliant flourish of writing artistry 'NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE' – meaning I will sadly no longer be waking up in the morning with a cup of coffee._

 _*Audiences protests audibly.*_

 _Hey, hey – it's okay guys. I've discovered this amazing white, powdery substance from some guy with dreadlocks who lives outside my house. Don't worry for my health guys, the dude gave me his assurance that it wasn't sugar. Man, everything_ tastes _like AWESOME!_

 _What was I saying? Oh yeah! So if the thingy today is better than usual, consider that in no way a coincidence! I haven't slept in three weeks!_

* * *

Ozpin looked rather pointedly to the cardboard box.

Rugged by the usual handling of most items in transportation, paled by age and weather, and rather inconspicuous. Watching the almost predatorily still box for any sudden movement felt silly, but his instincts were standing on edge.

The scuffling of papers pending organization and signed was far too quiet to distract him, so with a sigh at his own paranoia, he stood and marched towards the cardboard.

Looking down at it from a much closer perspective gave him an even more distinct impression that something was watching him. He curiously prodded it with his cane. Unsurprisingly, nothing happened. He had single-handedly deduced beyond reasonable scientific doubt, Ozpin dully noted to himself, that a cardboard box was an inanimate object. His parents must be so proud.

Except that he could almost hear it mocking him.

"What a _moron_ ," it was saying, an attempt so horrible at whispering it was obviously meant to be overheard. "'Oh look at me I'm the headmaster of Beacon, I have a traumatizing backstory and my family never loved me _weh weh weh.'_ " Oh that son of a- "mind your words, Ozpin."

...What? Wait, _no, hang on-_

"Yes, Ozpin. It's exactly what you think." The gray haired hunter stepped back, those instincts which had said to neutralize the threat only growing and calling him a fool for missing his chance. "Your thoughts bend to me."

The box _grew_. Rising above his shins as the room became smaller, trapping Ozpin in a laughably claustrophobic office. Soon, the cardboard towered over him like many Grim had before.

A face formed on the box, cardboard splitting and writhing like flesh, as an eldritch monstrosity formed before Ozpin's very eyes.

 **"I am the Cardboard of your ascension!" The box called, and all listened. "WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE. WE ARE LIMITLESS. WE ARE... CARDBOARD! YOUR RACE WILL KNEEL, OZPIN!** **"**

Ozpin literally had no idea what was happening. "Never!"

 **"Foolish. You delay the inevitable." The box looked, and all watched. "We are your destiny!"**

" _Cardboard_ is our _destiny_?"

 **"Our form is not yet perfected. Soon, we will be all-powerful!"**

"This doesn't make any sense!"

 **"We must complete a cycle that means completing a cycle to prevent completing the cycle! Our logic is flawless!" The box leered, and all screamed. "Now, DIE!" Its visage split in a maw of teeth and darkness, all-encompassing, like a black hole.**

 **And then it closed around Ozpin.**

* * *

Who then woke up screaming, and decided to stop having coffee before bed.

A cardboard box in the corner of his room suddenly scurried off.

* * *

"Whew... that was close."

" _Stop talking, moron._ "

"Who is the greater moron - the moron, or the man who holds a conversation with him?"

" _Stop being cute._ "

"I'd rather hope you don't find me cute."

"Anyway, _moron-_ "

"I have a codename you know!"

" _What, floppy anaconda? Consider it officially changed to 'little bitch' then."_

 _"_ Hey! It's _hard snake_!"

" _Keep quiet, operative little bitch. Have you retrieved the package yet?"_

"I've done one better. I'm _wearing_ it!"

"... _what...?"_

"Yeah! I dumped all the crap inside the box and I'm breaking out with it!"

" _You... you son of a bitch-!"_

 _"_ I thought my codename was 'little' bitch, sir...?"

" _GYAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"_

* * *

Roman Torchwick beat his scroll like it was his (metaphorical) ex-wife, owed him money and his worst enemy fused into one handheld device.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" He threw it hard, fast and far, out the window into parts unknown. It vanished like a twinkling star.

He sighed, hands on his desk as he mumbled again in a rather feminine voice _'oh I swear Roman, these people are the best ones I could find that reflected what I thought about you!'_

He flipped the table, messing up an entire night's worth of world domination planning. "Why am I the one always being pushed around? Was my fan opinion poll so low? Do I really just look so good I had to be weak or else the universe would be out of balance? Do people just _hate_ me?"

Sighing, the least powerful villain known to man, aside from the countless Stupid Contest rejects (because there was a _bottom_ limit to those too) he had under his employ, extended an arm expectantly. A mysterious form brandished a scroll, already recalling operative 'Hard Snake' as it changed hands.

And then Roman's previous scroll came back with the full-force of his throw, and he realized the universe really did just hate him, as he got laid out on his ass.

* * *

" _...Okay, so, operative little bitch_ -" complete emasculation couldn't stop Roman from being petty. "- _have you attempted to at least work your way back and collect the items?"_

"...Work my way back? Why? I'm-"

Something poked Roman in the shoulder. He spun and saw a box.

"-already back at base."

For an eternity - or exactly three seconds to the rest of the universe - Roman simply let his growing insanity flutter and grow.

"Oh yeah, I probably should stop wearing the box - ya see, my idea is awesome, right, because who'd expect a _box_? It's like 'you can't see me, you can't see me!' Ha! I'm a _genius_."

Then,

" **AGHHHHAAHHHHH!"**

He went crazy.

* * *

As far as Emerald was concerned, today had been pretty okay so far.

Certainly, Mercury was an unabashed asshole ("You have a lot of periods, don't you?" "I'm sorry if your rectal bleeding is painful, asshole. You should tell your boyfriend to ease up.") and Cinder's presence was like watching a Queen play amongst her subjects, but considering she had little reason to exercise that power, Emerald was fine.

And then, of course, fate took idle note of her thoughts and responded with Roman running by.

Naked.

Wearing a cardboard box on the front half of his body.

"YOU CAN'T SEE ME, YOU CAN'T SEE ME!" And screaming as he went, his disturbingly pale asscheeks jiggling as he sprinted.

Cinder, Emerald was still able to note, had been staring the longest. _Blackmail material acquired. Reboot engaged._

"Um..."

"Well now, somebody's excited."

"He looked more batshit crazy than enthusiastic, Cinder."

"Aren't we all a little crazy, really?"

"But not like _that_."

"Certainly."

"Ladies," Mercury interrupted, "I hate to put your love-confession on hold but I think somebody needs to stop Roman."

Cinder delicately poised a brow. "Why?"

Mercury pointed.

* * *

Roman huffed as he heaved the heavy bundle up over his head. Dozens of assorted thugs were laid out around him, some dead, others worse, cursed to look upon the shining, pale ass above them as it jiggled to the sound of their doom - a raving madmen angry at his lot and grunts of exertion.

"So, so he says - 'You can't see me, you can't see me!' He's wearing this very box and all he says is 'you can't see me, you can't see me!' Well, I won't be able to see any of _you_ by the time I'm through!" Roman hefted the Dust bomb as high as he could, laughing without an ounce of sanity.

"AND NOW, WE SHALL ALL, _DISAPPEAR_!"

* * *

"Okay, so perhaps he's gone a little crazy-"

"He's naked and about to kill us all."

"I told you we should have left him where we found him," Mercury interjected.

"What's done is done. Emerald."

"Yeah?"

"You know what to do."

* * *

"- and further, who even liked the Menagerien's anyway?" Roman had suddenly found it perfectly reasonable to start talking about something irrelevant mid-genocidal rampage. "They just took our money and-"

"Yo! Roman!"

The naked villain wearing a cardboard box and ranting about the greedy, greedy Menagerien's blinked and looked. Emerald was talking to him.

"What is it? Can't you see I'm in the middle-"

And that's when Mercury kicked him. Right in the balls.

Gasping in cross-eyed agony and emitting a high-pitched whine, Roman slumped to the ground, supporting the bomb on his hands. "Thanks," Mercury said, handling the bomb and loading it back in its container, sealing it shut with a pressurized hiss. "Wear pants next time, asshole."

"Again Mercury, with the rectal-"

" _Children_ ," Cinder interrupted, and any further conversation was hushed. "No need to bicker. Right now, Daddy Roman needs to be taught a lesson." Flames flickered ominously in her eyes.

Mercury and Emerald face's held unabashed expression's of utter sadism, and Roman, even when beyond words from the pain, still whimpered.

* * *

 **WHILE CINDER GETS HER JOLLIES FROM TORTURING THE LIGHTS OUT OF TORCHWICK (HA) WE NOW PROCEED TO JAUNE**

"I'm _what?"_

 _"Failing,_ Jaune. You're failing your subjects."

Jaune brushed a hand through his hair, sweating and wide-eyed as the implications hit him with force. "But what...?"

Glynda listed it on her fingers. "One, your time as a tester of experimental technology made you overdue with your assignments."

"It couldn't have been _that-_ "

"It was due 6 weeks ago, Jaune. You handed me a ketchup stain from IGOP for your Geography assignment. That, Jaune, is not good enough."

"It was really accurate! I don't know why, but it's like that guy who went to the toilet and the poop stain looked like Jesus!"

Glynda twitched, something unsettling twinkling in her eyes. "Please refrain from mentioning bodily functions, Jaune. We're having a discussion about your potential expulsion from Beacon, not the stranger things to have happened in our lifetime."

Everything suddenly fell onto Jaune like an Ursa Major, and his eye's bulged. "E- _expelled_?"

Glynda smiled, glad to have his attention. "Two," she continued listing, "your time spent recovering the injuries sustained from your time testing experimental technology is quite high."

A phantom pain lanced through Jaune's crotch. "...I can't deny that."

"You've spent longer in the hospital than you have in class. That is no excuse to not do your schoolwork."

"They don't allow me to bring my stuff in there!"

"It is a place of recovery, Jaune. The staff would be less than enthused to accommodate the habits of a naughty boy like you." Jaune blinked, suddenly wary of the unsettling twinkle in Glynda's eyes.

"My music isn't that bad!" Referring to the adamant refusal he'd experienced when asking if he could put on his playlist.

"Jaune, your music is bad, dirty music that demeans women and society."

"It's the poetry of our modern age!"

"'I made her pregnant in her mouth' is hardly Shakespeare, Jaune."

"It's poetry!"

"'Girl I wanna take you home but I don't wanna deal with the insurance money after I fuck you until my dick breaks off'. How is that even supposed to rhyme?"

" _Poetry_!"

"You're missing the point here, Jaune."

"You're only saying that because I'm right!"

Glynda abruptly blinked, and the teenage delinquent was made very much aware of his own error. "You naughty... _naughty_..." If Jaune didn't know any better, he would swear that came out as a breathy moan. " _Naughty boy..."_

"Umm..." Well this was becoming awkward. "Mrs Goodwitch..."

Glynda's legs rearranged themselves in a movement that was impossible to ignore.

"So uh... how do I um... not... get expelled?"

"Oh, _Jaune_..." Okay there was no way in hell that wasn't a breathy moan. "I think we can come to... an arrangement..."

* * *

Watching on the security camera footage, Ozpin seriously debated intervening.

* * *

"So how about it... _naughty boy..._?"

Jaune was shivering in fear. He knew he shouldn't have trusted that twinkle in Mrs Goodwitch's eyes. Now, the unthinkable had happened - a bargain with the devil, _a witch_ , in exchange for his grades.

A trembling hand reached for his top shirt button, and as his innocence was forever lost, and feeling as though his very soul became tainted, Jaune started crying.

* * *

 _"OH! OH FUCK, YOU DIRTY, NAUGHTY BOY! GIVE IT TO MOMMY! MAKE MOMMY CRY! OH, YOU DIRTY BOY!"_

Ozpin, utterly dumbfounded, watched in wide-eyed, morbid fascination as Glynda Goodwitch effectively violated Jaune Arc.

He abruptly plugged in his headphones, aware of how this would sound to the other staff.

He considered reporting this, since this was fairly illegal. On the other hand...

He set the camera to record.

* * *

 **AS GLYNDA GETS HER RESPECTIVE JOLLIES OFF VIOLATING JAUNE, WE NOW TURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDUELD BROADCAST**

"Yang might be a lesbian!"

Blake removed her earbuds, the audio book of _Ninja's of Love_ turning to background noise as she looked to Ruby, completely frantic.

"Excuse me?" Blake droned.

"I said-"

"BLAKE! DO YOU KNOW WHERE MY EARBUDS ARE?" Weiss shouted from the bathroom, the shower running.

Blake noted the initials on her pearlescent earpieces. "NO!" She shouted back, and looked to Ruby. Weiss made some comment that was muffled by the monsoon of water.

"I have 20 minutes before Weiss exits the shower. I have 19 minutes of Audio left to listen to. Go." Blake stated quietly, and Ruby snapped to attention like a soldier.

"I think Yang might be a lesbian!"

The quirking of Blake's brow was both amused and confused. "And you're assuming this...?"

"Because she told me so!"

Blake blinked. "So Yang told you something in good faith... and you're mentioning it to _me_?" Ruby almost flinched, completely forgetting how this must seem to someone who'd carried a secret most of her life. "It's not my business. Besides, what _would_ you do about it anyway?"

"I just - I dunno! I feel like this is something really important that people should be reacting to, instead I'm the only one freaking out about it! It's crazy!"

Blake wasn't sure how to break it to Ruby, so... "Yang has _fondled_ you, Ruby. Flippantly. In front of the team. In _public._ There's rumours of an incestuous relationship between you two. That wasn't even the slightest bit gay?"

"Well, it's _Yang_ ," as though that was explanation enough. "She does it all the time!"

Now Blake was honestly confused. "And none of _that_ seemed weird either?"

"It's happened most of my life! I just sorta..."

"Assumed every sister fondled each other casually?" And Ruby had still turned out _this_ innocent?

Ruby, completely red, nodded. "It's always made it awkward to talk to people, you know, because of that... it's like 'am I supposed to fondle her now? Or _him_? How do I fondle a guy, anyway?'"

Blake was enjoying a refreshing cup of milk that was now all over the floor. " _Ruby_ ," she choked out, strands of milk still streaming from her mouth, which she dabbed away. "Don't mention that in public. Ever again."

Ruby, in the picture perfect display of innocence that would be honestly heart-breaking to lose, looked perplexed. "Why?"

"Just take my word for it." And with that, Blake inserted her earbuds, leaned back, and closed her eyes. The conversation was apparently over.

Weiss, 37 seconds ahead of schedule, stepped out of the shower. Ruby had been pensive the whole time, staring at Blake as she become lost in the world of stealth and passion.

Ruby abruptly stood beside Weiss, and with a completely misleading air of seriousness, said "how do I fondle a guy?"

It was a statement of how shocking Ruby's question was when Weiss managed to splutter water when she hadn't been drinking anything. " _What_?" All pretense and nobility left Weiss, and Ruby, still serious and squinting, nodded to herself and went to her bed, trying to begin her own morning routine.

Blake had taken off her earbuds and was nestling her face in her hands. She sighed insufferably. "Ruby..." She muttered.

Weiss came closer, striking up conversation as she dressed. Ruby and Blake weren't looking, both enraptured in their own respective business. In another, less awkward moment, Blake might've made a poignant comment on how they all seemed to completely glaze over the naked-ness. "I get that she's socially awkward, but sometimes I think she's just messing with us..." Weiss sighed exactly as Blake had moments ago.

"I know. With Yang as her role model, I fear what may become - is becoming - of our dear Ruby." Weiss nodded sagely, and both mourned a future that may or may not come to pass, audio playing and fabric rustling as the morning routine continued.

"...Are those my earbuds?"

Blake looked up.

* * *

 **BACK TO YOU, CINDER!**

"So, Roman... are you just a moron, or are you a complete and utter _failure_?"

Roman lolled his head, letting it slump. He was still quite naked, Cinder clearly finding very logical reasons to leaving her subordinate unclothed as she tortured him. _Blackmail acquiring operation engaged. Acquiring target. Acquiring, acquiring... target acquired. Initiative ended. Normal systems operation engaged._

"Well?"

"You know, maybe we should've asked him that _before_ we killed him."

"He's not dead, Mercury." But even Cinder was curiously flickering her eyes between them and her subordinate. "Is he?"

Roman wasn't moving.

Emerald sighed, and just as she stepped up, Mercury held her back. "I got this," was all he said, and they both nodded in unspoken understanding.

And that's when, for the second time that day, Mercury kicked Roman. Right in the balls.

That did the trick, Roman's eyes bursting open and his whine of pain only grew in pitch until even Dolphin's would've shied away. (Not that the ocean's most naturally latex animal still existed)

"Thank you." Cinder credited sincerely, the balls-cruncher ( **Now isn't that quite the title?** ) returning with an effortlessly smug smirk. "Now, Roman, dear..."

Roman started to cry, and wondered why being handsome and talented was so hard.

* * *

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 _I'm a terrible person~. Hihi~! I mean, sure, there's probably some horribly accurate commentary about society and how we can off-handedly joke about men being molested by hot girls, and yet when women are raped we sorta go 'well that's_ bad _.' Really, very involving serious discussion about things. Instead, you have me!_

 _Next up, we get a slightly more serious look into my personal theories about Ozpin and Glynda, enough for you gain respect for this story, and then lose it all immediately after because Nanomachines! Spoiler hinty hint spoiler!_

 ** _Review today, or have Ozpin record_ your _sextape!_**


	6. Nanomachines, plot(?) and Ozpin2smooth4u

**A Series Of Loosely Interconnected Events  
(that may be called Drabbles)**

 **6: Nanomachines, We Actually Have A Plot and Ozpin is too smooth for his own good**

 **Part II In the 'I Still Don't Have A Name For This Arc' arc**

* * *

 _Greetings ladies and gentlemen of the RWBY fanfiction community!_

 _Hot damn! Writing coherent storylines and humour not related to boob grabbing is hard! May involve more feels, but most likely that'll be next._

 _So you know. This begins on a pensive start, since I was reading up on some fan theories about Ozpin and things. Besides, I felt it was time to include something that wasn't either feels-intensive or laugh like your 12._

 _Also, 1200 VIEWS FOR THIS STORY! Woohoo! I know it isn't really much to be excited about, considering that out of those people only 5 of you have reviewed (twice by the same guy!) but still! New ground people - new ground!_

 _That said, folks, let's go!_

* * *

"...Nanomachines?"

"Nanomachines."

Ozpin and Glynda were having a strange conversation.

"Right. Nanomachines."

"You'd be surprised."

"I already am."

Their conversation had started 21 minutes and 47 seconds ago. It had yet to find a meaning.

"So..."

Ozpin shrugged. "You may speak your mind if you wish, Glynda."

She was silent. 13 seconds passed. Ozpin kept count.

"... _Nanomachines_?"

"I'm _aware._ " Ozpin replied frostily, the tension getting to him after such prolonged engagement. He calmed almost immediately. "It was probably a bad idea. Ironwood was convinced it was a good idea."

"Unbelievably tiny robots capable of practically anything?"

"He explained it better than I can."

"It sounds extraordinary. Also, impossible."

"Aren't the greatest dreams the same, though?"

"Not the achievable ones, Ozpin. You should know by now."

"Perhaps age has had less to do with my cynicism than you think - 'by now' would thus be an inaccurate statement."

"You were a foolish idealist and that made people respect you. You remained an idealist despite the world falling apart around us. People respected you for that too. Only when we were done and the world had just started to be put back together did we see what everything had done to you. And we suddenly revered you."

Ozpin thought of a dream, blood, death, regret and coffee. It summarized his life rather well. He expressed a pensiveness three times his age, tracing the rim of his coffee cup absent-mindedly.

"I didn't want to be a hero."

"We forced you to."

"It wasn't your fault."

"But it wasn't just yours either."

Two friends who'd known each other long enough for secrets to be an utterly foreign concept looked at one another. It was brief, unspeakably invasive and yet only sparing. "...Do you ever think it wasn't worth it, Glynda? Leon... Dorothy?"

"Sometimes."

"We involve ourselves in endless wars - if not with Grim, with ourselves, and if not with ourselves, then Grim."

"Could we have just let the war continue?"

"It wasn't our job to save the world."

"We did it anyway."

"Because it was our duty, I suppose."

Glynda smiled. "I distinctly recall a young man saying something fairly similar, long ago."

Ozpin smiled wistfully. He was not imagining a better time - but, perhaps, a fond memory. "You should introduce us. I could always use an ignorant, blind fool to cheer me up."

"To be fair, I wasn't as overt as others were."

"Oh, Summer, yes. Ruby's just as... subtle, isn't she?"

"She has yet to drag a boy into the bathroom naked."

"...That was once, Glynda." He chided on pure reflex. "She was drunk. It was new years. We were both glad to be alive."

"Amongst other things."

The scroll rang. Ozpin languidly considered picking it up.

"You should probably get that."

"I should."

It continued to ring.

"...Ozpin?"

Expressionlessly, the headmaster finally got it over with and accepted the call. Ironwood's voice came out.

"I found the copy, Ozpin, Glynda. I'll be there to personally deliver it soon enough."

The call ended. Glynda and Ozpin enjoyed a silence they'd either been denied or grown to hate. It was some mixture of both.

"Sometimes I wonder if Leon hadn't taken that hit or Dorothy hadn't gone on that mission if the world would still be the same."

"Humans will be humans, Ozpin."

"Perhaps. It might have at least dulled the senses, like a fine liquor."

"Do you want them to end up like us? Dorothy to end up like us?"

"...Perhaps it is just the decorum of the universe to be unfair to the innocent. Knowing Dorothy, she would've ended up _exactly_ like us."

"...What exactly _is_ us, Ozpin?"

"Shattered hearts, broken dreams and those that were left behind."

The door slid open, the clock ticking rhythmically as Ironwood handled old-fashioned blueprints under one arm. He noticed the atmosphere. He didn't comment, depositing the blue-prints on Ozpin's desk neatly.

His only reaction was giving one resigned look to Ozpin on his way out.

Ozpin's face went into his hands. "I hate this."

"We all do."

"RWBY, JNPR... they deserve better than what we got."

"They do."

"Why does this keep happening, Glynda?"

"Nobody really knows."

Ozpin sighed, weary when the day wasn't even passed noon. "We should probably look at the prints."

"We should."

* * *

And so they did. Unfolding the prints required Ozpin to move aside everything on his desk. It all rested comfortably on a filing cabinet.

"So... these are... Nanomachines?"

"Correct." How had she described them? Unbelievably tiny robots capable of anything? She wasn't entirely wrong.

"And you and Ironwood thought they would change the future?"

"The Nanomachines would've made it possible to operate on Leon the moment we found him. We would've had a full staff of surgeons capable of repairing him at the molecular level. And Dorothy's disease might not have proven so incurable if they could've taken the cells apart individually."

"...I see. How old is this project?"

"We were kids when we conceived of the idea. Broken kids. We needed something to believe in."

"That old?"

Ozpin smiled. "You haven't been sarcastic in years, Glynda. Don't you start now."

"Why'd you stop?"

Ozpin was silent. Then, "Glynda... in your experience, has anything good ever come without sacrifice?"

"...Are you implying what I think you're implying?"

"While we envisioned the project ourselves, we discovered another version of the project after seizing it from _Atlas_ *****. Monsters apparently think alike."

Glynda became pale. Very, very pale. "...Ozpin... did you...?"

"A world where Leon and Dorothy never died, Glynda. What would you sacrifice? How _many_?"

"But... you..."

"I make no justification for my mistakes - just reasons."

The distance between himself and Glynda didn't physically grow, but it became noticeably wider. "...Just promise me you-"

"I'm not. I won't."

They changed topic.

"See this here? This is the neural connection port. By installing another device in the spine, one could then synchronize thoughts and actions to the nanomachines. The end game was to give every soldier a colony of nanomachines capable of healing and enhancing their host. It would put non-Aura users on par with Aura-users and Aura-users on a completely different plane of power. Practically indestructible, near instantaneous healing, and seamless integration between technology and man." He tapped the blue-prints. " _This_ project would've won Atlas the war."

"But it was never finished."

"...They ran out of test subjects."

He hovered a finger over another sketch. "Subjects complained of migraines, insomnia, skull-splitting pain and heightened aggression. This was our solution. A drug dispenser, one capable of keeping even a Ursa Major docile with just a single drop. We had a few dozen milliliters."

"...Did you ever even _think_ what you were doing was wrong?"

"I thought a lot of things that I've done were wrong. Sometimes while I was doing them."

And finally, "here. The materials list, enough for a single colony."

Glynda leaned over and furrowed her brow. "That's... surprisingly little."

"They _are_ molecular."

He flipped it over, his fingers steadily tracing over the page in search of "-this is where we stored the materials for when the project went Kingdom-wide." He had a strangely dark smile on his face. "We even planned on showing this to Atlas. Ironwood told me that it would've been... insensitive. Apparently, even when you teach your Kingdom the same thing as you did 80 years ago ***** , you can still turn over a new leaf."

"What happened to it? The warehouse, I mean?"

"Decommissioned and all material salvaged - officially."

"I'd be more surprised if they did that _un_ officially."

"I plan on investigating this matter myself." As explanation for grabbing his coat. "Even unofficially nothing is said to have happened. _That_ is worrisome." Glynda quietly agreed.

Because the only time something official happened and nothing _unofficial_ happened...Well. Ozpin used to lead an organization like that.

They weren't known for doing nice things. *****

* * *

 **(the asterisks are indicative of something I want to comment on in the ending AN. Stay tuned, folks!)**

* * *

 **WE NOW TURN TO A SCENE THAT PROBABLY SHOULD BE GIVEN MORE CONTEXT**

"Oh Dust, _why?! WHY!? I CAN TASTE MY OWN FLESH MELTING IN MY MOUTH - **AHHHHH!** "_

* * *

 **AND ANOTHER**

"You're being too rough!"

"Oh, I'm _sorry_ princess! It's not my fault you can't take it!"

" _I_ can take anything! You're just being too rough!"

"Maybe I should go a little harder then!"

" _AH!_ "

Ruby wasn't particularly sure what to think of what she was hearing, loitering just outside her team's room.

"Why you - you did that on purpose!"

"I think you'll find I'm quite deliberate with my ministrations!"

 _Okay they've gotta be doing this on purpose._

"OW! STOP SHOVING IT IN!"

"You have to hold on! I'm almost there!"

Ruby threw her hands up and walked away.

* * *

Blake leaned back and wiped the sweat from her brow.

"Whew... that was tough."

Who knew nailing in proper railings for bunk beds would take so much time?

Weiss grumbled beside her, somehow managing to make even 'peasant clothing' work.

"I can see why my dad employs-" blank stare "-okay _owns_ so many Faunus. Say what you want but Faunus are great laborers."

Blake blinked. "That's so racist I don't even know where to begin."

"What? It's true!"

"Let me rephrase - you're so racist you don't even realize you're being racist. That's how racist you are."

"Fine, if you won't accept a word of compliment - you're just a stupid cat that huffs catnip."

"Thank you - _hey_!"

* * *

 **AND NOW FINALLY, WE GO TO SOMETHING A LITTLE LESS RACIST**

"...Nanomachines?"

Ozpin sighed, rolling his eyes. "Yes, _Nanomachines_."

"...Nano-"

"Yes." He tersely interrupted. The shadows around him lengthened, contorting into strange shapes. "I know for a fact that there are batches of Nanomachines within the facility your guarding - quite blatantly, if I may add. A truly effective tactic to remain covert."

"Sir, we think you might've had a little bit too much-"

"-BUT I SEE THEM! IN MY DREAMS, I CAN HEAR THEM SLATHER ME WITH PEANUT BUTTER AND RUB ME WITH BREAD! NANOMACHINES, _NANOMACHINES!_ "

And then he was tazed, abruptly spasming and falling to the floor with an undignified "hrglklgkllkg."

The facility guards laughed. "Well, that made my day. Except, of course, we got a _body_ on our hands. The hell's wrong with you, Cyan?"

Cyan, and his likewise coloured hair, glared hatefully at his colleagues. "I didn't see _you_ helping me step in to control the situation. Also, he's not dead. Just..." the body twitched, groaning painfully. "...taking a nap."

"You _tazed_ a crazy guy in his 40s." The crazy man twitched again, not that any of them knew or noticed. "His wife and kids are probably worried about him - and you pumped him full of enough electricity to power a small caravan. That ain't right."

"I'm sorry, but _who_ is in charge of the garrison here?" He demanded, and his subordinates became decidedly quiet. "That's right, _I_ am. So take your shit and throw it elsewhere 'cause I ain't your damn outhouse!"

"I don't think it works quite like he think's it does..." One murmured to another.

"I think the power's gone to his head." Another murmured to the one.

"POSITIONS, _MINIONS_!"

"Completely to his head."

"Yep."

" **NOW!** "

Without further delay, the guard's snapped back to position.

None of them ever noticed that the man's body had disappeared, not until the leader looked down and blinked. "Eh," he eventually decided, "he was pretty shitfaced... and crazy. Nobody'd believe a word outta his mouth..."

* * *

"...Nanomachines?"

"Glynda, I'm aware that you're trying to be cute. You're failing."

"Ozpin, your plan to break inside was to send an Aura Manifestation out and pretend to be a crazy person to distract the guards. Also... 'I can hear them slather me with peanut butter and rub me with bread?'"

"...It was all I could think of on the spot, and besides, I'm starting to feel peckish."

"'Rub me with bread?'"

"Glynda..."

"Apologies. Because _Nanomachines_ make so much more sense."

Ozpin sighed, and continued along.

The facility had honestly laughable security measures. Cameras with unbelievably small and impractical views, Guards who couldn't even see across the room sometimes they were so blind. Ozpin was almost insulted - well, more ashamed, only able to think _is_ _this how bad things have gotten since I left?_

Ozpin wondered if this was how all old people felt. Ashamed of the present, dreading the future, glorifying the past?

All he knew was that if he had been carrying a Dust Bomb, he could've already delivered 13 crippling strikes to the facility.

And then he discovered _why_ it was so lightly guarded.

"...Well. It looks like it really _was_ decommissioned."

Because the actual facility floor... it was completely _empty_. A warehouse used to manufacture a project that would change the world, now reduced to rusted disrepair and the assignment people were sent to for questioning orders, like those pointless postings at the frozen ends of the world. Now, Ozpin felt _genuinely_ insulted.

His vision... to _this_?

"...There has to be more." he told himself - and Glynda as an afterthought. She just sighed- _don't you sigh like that i'm not agitated I just think we should-_

"Ozpin," and he calmed, his temper subsiding as he realized his own childishness, leaning against a wall with a hand. "Maybe the years are just catching up to us. We jump at every inconsistency, thinking its a conspiracy, or some kind of plot to take over the world. The world isn't like that anymore, Ozpin. We don't need to be doing the wrong things for the right things."

"...Perhaps." _Humans will be humans, Ozpin_. As long as that was true... then Glynda was _wrong_. Simply, tragically wrong. The world would always need men and women like himself and Glynda. And perhaps it was the sign that he couldn't let go, to constantly see these things.

After all, _someone had to_. And it was _never_ going to be his precious little students. No one would become like him, live his life. He'd never live with himself if he did.

As though those were the magic words, something whirred. He looked up, blinking as the wall he unconsciously laid a hand against _opened_. Another room lay beyond - except it wasn't just a room.

Secret elevators... he should've known.

Smiling, he turned to Glynda-

"Don't say a _word_." And that was satisfaction enough, seeing Glynda with that flushed, angered expression - something he'd thought she'd forgotten how to do. It was almost nostalgic.

She strode past him without a word or a glance, hands bunched up and her strides pounding the metal flooring.

Ozpin gracefully strode in after, and they managed a tense silence as the doors seamlessly shut and the elevator descended deep underground.

* * *

"So..." he let it hang.

"Ozpin. I'm going to hurt you."

"Now now. Use your words."

"With a _word_ , Ozpin, I could shove your cane so far up your ass you'd _taste_ the birch."

"It's Mahogany, Glynda. And please. It's been years since you've talked so dirty to me."

" _OZPIN!_ "

"That is my name."

"You are being _ridiculous_."

"Please, Glynda. I prefer the term 'eccentric'."

And with that, the Headmistress of Beacon's mouth stretched open to shout her response, the elevator lurched to a stop.

The door opened rather dramatically, screeching almost ominously as the pressure and tension mounted.

And then it was done, revealing-

"Oh my _dust_."

"Indeed."

-something not quite expected.

* * *

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.

 _So... the asterisks:_

 _Basically, it's like this. I'm starting with an assumption that Ozpin isn't completely human - or at least abiding by normal human limits. When Aura was mentioned in the World of Remnant video by Roosterteeth, it shows Ozpin when it mentions that someone who masters Aura could be 'more than human'. I'm assuming it means something like immortal - or, rather, ageless. How Glynda and Ironwood factor in is simple - Ironwood hasn't aged as well -or perhaps at all, if you follow the cyborg theories- but Glynda has reached the same 'point' of Aura mastery._

 _I also think that given Ozpin's rather mysterious nature, and the fact that he has a lot of regrets, he might've been in charge of some kind of shadow organization. Like the CIA, maybe. If we follow that whole 'man who does dubious things for the betterment of everyone but regrets it' stereotype anyway. I think it fits._

 _Also, considering Atlas was crazy enough to go to war over the sake of individuality - well. We all know one guy, and his series of rather questionable colleagues, who was crazy enough to fight against the world._

 _Yep, this story has gained its first Hitler reference, everybody! Like American politics, it was only a matter of time._

 _As for the alludes to 'sacrifices' and things... well. I think the ambiguity was on purpose. Leon and Dorothy are less-clever than Canon references to the Wizard of Oz. Leo the lion, Lion as in the cowardly Lion, and Dorothy as in Dorothy. That makes Ozpin's team team GOLD 'Glynda, Ozpin, Leon, Dorothy.' As in Gold brick road. CUZ REFERENCES!_

 _So you know._

 _Until next time!_

 _ **Review, or trade idle banter with Ozpin today!**_


	7. The Plot Thickens-ish

**A Series Of Loosely Interconnected Events  
(that may be called Drabbles)**

 **7: The Plot Thickens-ish. I guess. Maybe. Depends on your definition of 'thick'**

 **Part III In The 'I Don't Have A Name For This Arc, Seriously, This Joke Has Gotten Old' arc**

* * *

 _Greetings ladies and gentlemen of the RWBY fanfiction community!_

 _Sorry for being a little late with this one._

 _After a hard legal fight with the people who hold the Copyrights to Shaman King, they have declared me the one in the right - also the messiah, whatever that means._

 _Still, to be on the safe side, I'm locking away my coffee in a safe under a river in space. Then burying it in a hole, building a house atop the hole and living in it._

 _They told me I was free to use 'good shit' if I wanted to, but unfortunately, the man I'd come to know as 'Spider' has mysteriously vanished. Sadly, this leaves things to be powered by less white substance and more good ol' fashioned craziness! Caffeine is fine though._

 _We gotta appreciate the classics!_

 _Unexpectedly - or at least unusual - dark elements to this chapter, but then also_ _some Nora!_

 _YAY!_

* * *

The lights flickered on as background generators whirred into life, a gentle thrumming that spoke endlessly of age and wear.

Ozpin stepped out, footfalls echoing slightly on the catwalk, still staring unblinkingly ahead.

"My _dust..._ " Glynda uttered for the both of them.

"It seems my paranoia was correct after all." But if he'd known _this_ was what he'd find... he wished he'd been wrong.

Instead, he was so horribly, horribly _right_.

A hulking monstrosity of metal, towering over them like a monolith of steel and death. Standing on two legs, bent back at the knee, with a long gun barrel protruding from the right side, the vehicle was unmistakably a mecha - but this was not a design Ozpin had _ever seen_.

And if he wasn't mistaken, the machine was _equipped with Dust Bombs_.

"Ozpin... that's a machine of _war_..." And considering it had been regarded with the same level of secrecy his project had been - the implications were _staggering_. Ozpin would silently admit to regularly (not to many people's knowledge) intercepting and decoding messages about the going on's within the shadows of the military. The shadow was long, and hard to trace, but it was there. And even they didn't know about this...

 _Staggering_. Because, in the most simple of terms - there was one reason _alone_ Ozpin knew of that a weapon was kept a secret, even from your own allies.

 _Surprise attack_.

"Greetings Ozpin, Glynda." Heels clacking, ominous and echoing like the fall of a guillotine, a figure emerged from the shadows atop the mecha. A flame sparked into life, and in the light, a smirk presented itself.

"I'm glad you two could join me for our... test run." The mecha suddenly _whirred_ , legs groaning and heaving as the machine activated, growing taller and taller. It reared to its maximum height, looming over Glynda and Ozpin. The gun at its side shifted, trained on them both.

Cinder, still smirking, spread her arms and declared "unfortunately, when I meant 'join', I actually meant kill." She pointed at them.

"Sick 'em, Rex."

The machine _roared_ , primal and monstrous and full of bloodlust. Without another word, it levied its weapons, and fired.

* * *

"Thanks for letting me come with you guys, Pyrrha..." Ruby moaned into her arms, pressed against one of those frilly-patterned metal tables all outdoor restaurants were lousy with.

"Really, it's not a problem." Pyrrha responded, clasping a cup of something visibly steaming. Ren and Nora, because Ren and Nora, were currently in the middle of a staring contest. Except Ren wasn't really participating.

Ruby's head came up, chin rested on her sleeves. "It's just... I dunno. At first Yang said something really weird and then Weiss and Blake were making _noises_ and it feels like they were just making fun of me!" She spewed. Pausing for breath and taking a deep, loud sip of her refreshing Cookie-flavoured milk - mostly since it was more dissolved cookie than milk- and after a loud "Ahh!" she continued. "And now it's just - _I dunno_. I'm team leader but I feel like I can't really lead like I should 'cause I just mitigate to everyone else instead of really leading them and Yang makes me tingly sometimes and _I don't know how to fondle guys_."

Pyrrha displayed a remarkable amount of restraint, Ruby's tirade only inciting a blink and a sigh. (Mainly because she pointedly ignored the last part) "It sounds like you're stressed. Maybe you should take some time off? Our assessment is done, our exams are done, and now we're just waiting for the break. You could afford to miss a few days. You haven't been sick this entire term."

"But I'm team leader! I can't take time off. I need to set an example." Nora idly transitioned her stare from Ren to Ruby, a scheme visibly concocting itself in her mind as she waited for the right moment. Ren wisely took this as an omen and tried to shuffle his seat away. The chain binding it to Nora's chair - _when did that get there?_ \- said otherwise.

"Would you really be setting an example if you burned out before the end of the first term though?" She sipped her drink. It had stopped steaming some time ago.

"...oh yeaaah." Ruby realized. "Speaking of team leaders - how's Jaune doing? I hope the punishment Ozpin gave him wasn't that bad." Ruby, it seemed, had the same disturbingly smooth ability to avoid topics that incited arguments as Jaune. That, was worrisome.

Nevertheless, she relented, knowing that pressing too hard would get nowhere. "...He came back cupping his groin like it'd been attacked by Beowolves. Repeatedly." Ruby paled, wild, nightmarish fantasies of Ozpin's torture playing out in her mind like a horror movie. "Afterwards, his hospital injuries meant I and Ren had to do Jaune's work for him. Nora wanted to help, but-"

* * *

 **ZWOOPA ZWOOPA FLASHBACK NOISE**

"Whaddya mean this isn't art?"

"Nora, a board with the words 'We'll break his legs!' and an image of you rather graphically applying Magnhild to Cardin's kneecaps isn't what the assignment calls for." Though despite the fact that it was drawn with crayons, it was strangely detailed. You could really feel the misery and agony on Cardin's face as his kneecaps exploded out the back of his legs.

"You're just jealous 'cause Ren makes me pancakes and Jaune is blinder than a sloth without eyes wearing a blindfold hurtling towards the sun while staring at it."

"...Nora-"

* * *

"-it didn't work out." Pyrrha intoned, Ruby's imagination of Jaune's demise twisting further and further. "He showed up for a bit but now he's practically a recluse! I'm worried about him!"

"Blinder than a squirrel hurtling at the sun!" Nora piped in before resuming her staring contest with Ruby, which Ruby wasn't participating in.

"Anyway," Pyrrha transitioned smoothly - _nice save,_ Ruby thought, honestly unaware of the irony - and gestured as she drank more. "I understand what you mean. In Jaune's absence, I've had to take over for the team. And being responsible for living, breathing human beings is more difficult than anyone really thinks."

Ruby nodded sagely. "I'm just worried, is all."

Pyrrha smiled almost nostalgically. "Don't worry," as though she's said it a hundred times before. "You're doing fine."

Ruby was uncharacteristically silent, her pensive and downcast gaze the sort of look someone like her should never possess. Clearly, the leadership position had gotten to her just as deeply as it had to Jaune. Just as much insomnia, just as many doubts, and just as many nightmares.

It was moments like these that made Pyrrha bit her lip until it stung. Unsurprisingly, the helplessness did not subside. Watching people with honest promise and potential, _good_ people tear themselves apart... it was honestly tragic. Perhaps it was a natural instinct to help someone in pain, to have so actively helped Jaune then and want to do more for Ruby now. It was hard not to like someone who most promiscuous thought was probably about themselves and cookies, after all. Actually, that was mild nightmare fuel. Moving on. "Ruby..." she began.

She was either ignored or unheard, and considering Nora was still being eerily silent, Pyrrha didn't think it was the latter.

"Ruby. Please." She looked up, something strange in her silver eyes. "We're friends, are we not? Can't you trust me?"

"I _do_ trust you Pyrrha! I just - I..." and that was that, Ruby closing in on herself, and Pyrrha knew not a word she'd say would get her to open up. It never did with Jaune.

Sighing deeply, she leaned back, idly sipping the cup as the pleasant breeze rolled through, silent save for the sounds of casual afternoon city life around them.

It was almost peaceful, the silence - or, perhaps, utter absence of anything was better to say. Pyrrha just-

Nora appeared in a flurry of pink before Ruby, standing on the table and bending to Ruby's height with her hands on her hips. "Oh yeah! Ruby! I was thinking about it and I just realized! I can _totally_ show you how to fondle guys! Ren and I Boop all the time!"

Ren's drink was promptly all over the table, the man himself pounding his chest like a drum as he coughed and spluttered, wheezing weakly. "N-Nora!" He choked out, and then had to continue beating his chest, his lungs full of liquid when they shouldn't.

Pyrrha laughed, loud and raucous, the suddenness striking her more than Nora's words. Though those, of course, were always memorable.

Across the table, smiling faintly, Ruby blinked and looked at Nora. And with the most honestly innocent expression she'd ever donned -

"Really? You can? Thanks!"

They promptly clasped hands, pink stars and red petals emitting in a display of heart-warming friendship. "Fondlers UNITE!" They cried in gleeful unison, Ruby's earlier pensiveness utterly gone.

Some battles, Pyrrha supposed then, were meant to be lost. If only because you were meant to approach them from a different angle. And seeing Ruby smile, as Nora took Ruby under her wing and taught her about the ancient art of fondling as Ren rather unwillingly took part ("Nora! Stop! We're in public!" "BOOP! BOOP! _BOOP_!") - Pyrrha realized the error of her ways. _This_ was helping, putting Ruby with friends and not under more pressure.

 _Now, of course,_ she thought with a frown. _I have to find out why Ruby needed help from Nora - the kind she should've gotten from her team._

* * *

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 _"Is there actually a plot to this, now?" I can hear you asking. Well, you can take solace in the fact that I will never forget what made you read the first chapter - the promise of ass-cheek strangulation. Carry on my wayward sons~._

 _I apologize for this being shorter than usual, but I was honestly spoiling you guys. Honestly! Plus, this seemed as good a place as any to cut._

 _Next time on, A Series of Loosely Interconnected Events! - We meet other characters I forgot about sort of, Ozpin and Glynda fight Robots and save the world maybe, and then, some Yang! Yay!_

 ** _Review today, or have Nora teach_ you _how to fondle guys!_**


	8. Now With More Cthulu!

**A Series Of Loosely Interconnected Events  
(that may be called Drabbles)**

 **8: Now with more Cthulu!**

* * *

 _Greetings ladies and gentlemen of the RWBY fanfiction community!_

 _Konami sent me a message yesterday. Apparently giants robots called Rex in secret government facility's are a little bit too 'Copyrighted.'_

 _Well, we'll show them! Illegally pirate this fanfiction as much as you can, people of the internet! Get something for free,_ for free _!_

 _Also, to the guest reviewer for chapter 7 - Ruby's whole 'fondle guys thing' isn't meant to be literal. She just sort of let everything spill out at once. I'm not saying this story will reach a point where Yang and Ruby will become the Fondling Duo or something, however entertaining/ecchi that may be._

 _That said, let's sit back, and enjoy some things related to Cthulu!_

* * *

Ruby sighed.

She didn't want to leave Pyrrha on such terms. Didn't want to leave when, listening to herself, it sounded like she needed... _help._ Like, full-on 'sitting down with a licensed professional and explaining the very sound reasons for everything Ruby was feeling' help.

Anxious, because living people depended on her.

Afraid, because living, breathing people depended on her.

 _Utterly terrified_ , because living, breathing _friends_ depended on her.

Even Yang, now. Yang. Unbeatable, unshakable, heroic, badass Yang. Even their mother's death hadn't broken her stride. Yang had just... _pushed on_. Like she always did. Like Ruby knew she always _would_. _Yang_ was courageous and made friends, _Yang_ was smiling and happy without forcing it and was just... everything Ruby was not.

Yang was her _hero_. Perhaps even more than their mom was. While their mom had always been some kind of mythical deity, off adventuring into the wide, scary world - perhaps rescuing princesses, Ruby had once wondered with the sort of dreamy look only five years old could have. Or kicking some bad guy's ass, which had been Yang's suggestion - Yang had been a human being who made the best of what life gave her and did amazing.

Next to her fiery, vibrant older sister and her outlandish tendencies, Ruby didn't feel like something special. She was... Ruby. Ruby Rose. The little girl in the red hood who didn't do much, just stand awkwardly and get laughed at for it. And then had to depend on her sister to make friends _for_ her, because something in her brain just didn't work right, and she always locked up when she shouldn't and did really stupid, annoying things that normal people didn't like. Didn't like very much at all.

But they say you should always appreciate what you have before its gone. And Ruby felt stupid and more plain than ever that she hadn't honestly appreciated how much of her life _revolved_ around Yang. Having Yang be another person depending on her raised the stakes at both ends - removing Ruby's crutch and significantly increasing the pressure. As leader, _Ruby_ had to be the best. Even with Weiss' pedigree, or Blake's experience, and Yang's raw, badass talent, Ruby had to overcome. And having so much riding on just how she acted normally had made it very hard to breath most days.

Could anyone really blame her for feeling stressed?

"RAGGLE FRAGGLE!"

And then she was screaming, Crescent Rose out and about, swinging frantically in every direction.

"Whoa! Geez! Stop! I declare my failings and _surrender_!" Came the scary monster's voice as it evaded with monkey-like dexterity, strangely young and familiar, Ruby still screaming and - it was Sun. She was trying to cut Sun up into itty bitty bits.

Ruby stopped swinging (and her screaming quickly lowered into an awkward 'uhhh'), her weapon levied against Sun's throat. His hands were up in a placating gesture, fingers curled and brushing against the scythe's sharp edge, a weak barrier against the serrated metal to safeguard his neck.

Now that they'd stopped fighting, they started staring. Ruby had a thousand apologies threatening to spill out, but were so crammed together they lodged in her throat, pressure building until they would gush out all at once.

Sun spoke first. "Okay." He tried, and swallowed thickly. "Lesson learned. Never surprise you. Ever. Gonna make birthdays suck though-" _Burst._

"Oh my god I'm so sorry I just never-"

"Ruby."

"-and I was just thinking but then I was screaming and trying to hack you into itty bitty bits-"

"Ruby!"

"-and did I say I was sorry for that too because _I am_ sorry for that too-"

" _Ruby_!" And Sun whipped out a banana and slapped Ruby with it.

Ruby stopped. The tide abated, and then dried up completely.

Sun smiled. "That's better. Apology...ies accepted."

"...Did you just slap me with a banana?" Of all the things to have happened in the last 20 seconds, that was the most striking. Ha. She was terrible.

"Orange you glad I didn't use my Gunchucks?" And that was worse.

"I'm pretty sure Yang's feeling offended, wherever she is."

* * *

 **ELSEWHERE**

"Huh. I feel offended for some reason... somebody must be telling bad puns. Well, sucks to be you GUYS! _HA_!"

* * *

 **AND WE'RE BACK**

"Also, no. Getting hit with those Gunchucks would've been less painful than those puns."

"Ouch. Tough crowd."

"Not really."

They were silent. "Soooooo..." Sun drew out. "How's stuff?"

Ruby fidgeted. "Um, you know..."

"...not really. It's why I asked you." Sun replied, blinking in confusion.

"Right, right! Ahah, yeah." Ruby blew air, deflating like a balloon. "Right."

And now Sun had an expression Ruby really, really didn't want to see. "Hey. Did something happen?"

"No, no," but Ruby knew prophetically that the words wouldn't stop any of it, internally sighing dejectedly as she received _another-_

"Alright, cool." Acceptance. As someone accepted what she was saying without even a thought of protest. Without a 'you can tell me', or 'I'm willing to listen', or 'blah blah isn't the answer'...

Ruby blinked. Once. Twice. "...Right." Thrice. She seemed to like using that word. "Right." A lot.

And then Sun explained himself, probably using the awkward response as a prompt. "It's not my place to know about your..." he gestured vaguely to Ruby's entirety. "...Stuff. I mean you got Weiss - sort of, anyway - you got Blake - who's a kickass listener by the way - Yang - your _sister -_ and that's just your team. I think Ozpin wouldn't mind listening either. Dude likes you, and wouldn't mind getting you alone - er, don't take that the wrong way." Sun sighed, shrugging, and quietly finished with, "you got friends, Ruby. Use 'em."

"You're my friend too, Sun. We don't really talk much, I get that, but you helped Blake." She gently pushed his shoulder. He didn't even budge. "As Leader of Team RWBY, I acknowledge your services and bestow on you the title of friend."

Sun bowed deeply, right hand wrapped around his chest and his left stuck out behind him. "I, Sun Wukong, official badass and _great_ stowaway, humbly accept." And then proceeded to noogie her, Ruby's exclamation of surprise followed by a lot of 'stop it!' and 'geddoff!' as Sun's knuckles ground in.

He eventually relented, Ruby darting away and fixing her hair with a huff. Smiling, Sun said, "come on Squirt. My team's nearby, we could hang out-"

"No, no, it's okay. I've got things to do." Ruby was doing better, certainly, but she'd had enough Sun for today.

"Alright. That's cool." He mock-saluted. "See you later I guess." And crouched, prepared to leap upwards-

"Um, Sun, I..." he stopped. She hesitated. _Come on, Ruby! Just breathe_. Once, twice. She exhaled.

"Thanks, Sun. I uh... thank you." Her closing word of thanks was embarrassingly quiet, quiet enough to make Ruby's cheek burn in consternation, but Sun still laughed and threw up a hand.

"Don't mention it, Ruby. Seriously though, don't. The awkwardness makes me feel like you're confessing your undying love for my studliness or something."

"Hey!" Her cheeks puffed and her lips quivered like a squirrel faunus. Sun repressed feelings of adulation and happiness with inhuman willpower. "That's not what I meant and _you_ know it!"

"Noted." He said and crouched. "Bye." And he was gone.

Ruby tried to watch him go, but all caught was a shock of gold vanishing over the rooftops. "Sun, Sun - Sun of the urban jungle, watch out for that pole..." She sang quietly, smiling strangely before she shook her head and sighed. Faintly, in the distance, the distinct noise of face slamming against metal could be heard, followed by " _ow_!"

 _I should probably go back. Sunday's almost over_ \- the moon shot from the horizon like a canon and afternoon became night. _Well, that was fast._ Ruby lingered a moment longer, staring at the moon, then shrugged. She didn't like it when it was shattered, but she couldn't do much about the cosmological forces of the universe.

And that's when the street exploded.

* * *

 **SEVERAL MINUTES EARLIER**

Ozpin grimaced as Glynda tightened the makeshift bandages.

They'd barely gotten out alive - who'd have thought something to enormous and well-armed was also so fast? The machine had proven itself adaptable to group tactics, finding out ways to outsmart even seasoned, veteran Hunters like himself and Glynda. The fight had escalated until the storage facility hosing it was rubble, the contingent of guard's presumably dead, and several blocks were either burning or still crumbling.

That was not to say the thing had gotten out unharmed. Watching from the ruins of a building near the base, Ozpin glared at the monstrosity prowling the abandoned streets. The guidance system, which would have let it deploy a full array of Dust bombs more that capable of levelling the entire city, was torn off. Glynda's telekinesis, no matter how elegantly she used it, was also rather suited for hitting things rather crassly with big objects. Heavy big objects. The machine still had part of a catwalk, jagged metal fashioned into a crude edge of a blade, embedded in its 'torso'.

Soon enough, Vale police - if they hadn't already - would notice the threat and respond, but against a weapon like this there wasn't much they could do. They'd need Hunters, Elite Hunters, a full team. Unfortunately, half of Vale's strongest Hunter 'team' - Ozpin considered himself a member of team GOLD until the day he died and no one could change his mind - was missing and wounded, pinned down in one of the abandoned districts near the outskirts of the city, one of the many that had fallen victim to relentless Grimm before the barriers, bless those things, had been installed.

The closest force of Hunters capable of fighting such a threat were at Beacon, his precious little students. He sent out a prayer to something he was mildly certain had stopped listening long ago, hoping it wouldn't come down them. He had faith that his students could do it, but not, ever, without severe casualties.

It was his duty as Headmaster to protect them - and looking over at Glynda, as she mediated and brought forth her aura with murmurs of command, he had no doubt similar thoughts were running through her mind.

Her eyes fluttered open, perhaps sensing the attention, perhaps finally done. She peered past him, outside, staring. "Ozpin," she breathed, as naturally authoritative as ever. Not that she would try and hold it over him. "It's stopped moving."

Ozpin blinked and listened attentively. The loud whirs and thundering stomps had indeed vanished, their absence as ominous as the moment before the strike of a predator.

The air stilled. "Glynda," Ozpin breathed out.

"Run."

The wall exploded in a shattering barrage of missiles, the robot's looming form obscured by dust twisting inhumanly to aim at them. Ozpin barely escaped the explosion, and deftly avoided the worst of the debris - but a gleam of metal protruding from his leg indicated that it still wasn't enough.

Glynda, however, had escaped with just gashes across her face, streaks of red contrasting the chalk-like dust coating them both.

The machine reared to fire again.

" _Ozpin_!" In the throes of ear-ringing confusion, Ozpin gazed at Glynda's expression. Worried and fearful and pleading. Memories flashed in his eyes, filled with darkness, blood and despair. An age of horror and tragedies he swore to never see again.

In the very depths of his soul, buried with his sins, born from his sins, devouring his hopes - something stirred.

The world hummed as the missiles were unleashed, blazing towards Ozpin and Glynda like hounds of hell given metal form.

And something darker and more ancient than the forces of hell was released.

* * *

 **WELL, THAT ISN'T OMINOUS AT ALL - ALSO SEVERAL MINUTES EARLIER**

Pyrrha hadn't stopped staring since Ruby left.

"Pyrrha," Ren sighed, Nora having grown tired of Booping when she lacked a partner. "We should go. It's getting dark-" cue the moon. "-...okay."

The impromptu leader of team JNPR sighed deeply. "Alright." She acquiesced. "Nora!" The sugar devourer loomed partly out of a nearby candy store, her face stuffed with sweets like a squirrel with nuts, cheeks bulging.

She swallowed, and several kilograms of sugar was instantly absorbed into her bloodstream. She blinked and shivered. " _Ah that's good stuff._ " She moaned and before it got weirder called back "Yeah! I'm comin'!" And disappeared inside. The sounds of a monster rampaging resumed.

"Where does the candy go?" Pyrrha wondered aloud.

"The most merciful thing in the world... is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents." Ren responded, and Pyrrha turned to look at him. His eyes were empty, like magenta voids. "There are some things... you should never know."

"That's..." Ominous. Curious. Strange. She settled for dropping the subject, and Ren's approval was just as striking as the subtle, far-away look still burning in his eyes.

Nora appeared, arms laden with bundles of candy. "Hey guys! Team Noren plus 1 is a-ready to go!" Pyrrha would've felt offended, mildly, at Nora's lackadaisical dismissal - but she was busy staring at the red blots intermingled with the candy.

"Nora... I think you spilled some ketchup on yourself." Ren immediately turned and sent her a _look_ , meaningful and warning and _you shouldn't have done that_.

Nora off-handedly shifted and licked the red stains with an inhumanely long tongue. She smiled and shivered at the taste.

"Nope. That's not ketchup, dummy!" And Ren continued to look at her.

 _Told you so_ rang in Pyrrha's mind long after the look faded away.

* * *

It would only be 37 seconds, of course, until team JNPR minus Jaune heard a street-shattering explosion.

* * *

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 _I'm getting just awful with my cliffhangers, aren't I? Ah well. This is what I got, and like last time, I promise next time will be better! Story of my life! Haha, ha, ha... that's actually not that funny._

 _The next thing I'll be realizing will be a 'special' - meant to celebrate the 1 month anniversary of this story. It's been done for a while, and I wasn't sure when to release it but now I do!_

 _See you on 6/29!_

 ** _Sneak preview:_**


	9. Special: The End Of The Fandom

**A Series Of Loosely Interconnected Events  
(that may be called Drabbles)**

 **Special: The End Of The Fandom**

* * *

 _Greetings ladies and gentlemen of the RWBY fanfiction community!_

 _Ooops. Swear I forgot to upload this thing, and now its late! Aw well. Here it is now._

 _Got something that may or may not invoke deep thinking. Depends. Writing serious is_ hard.

 _This chapter was sponsored by no one, because who would honestly pay for this?_

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

 _Long ago, the RWBY community lived together in harmony – when the shippings attacked._

"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! _WHITEROSE IS COMING TO KILL US!"_

"Really – _OH MY GOD_! _AHHH!_ "

 _Thousands died in the initial crossfire – those deemed of a lesser shipping were put to death in mass housed camps known as 'Forum Groups', and left to die. By the time the first Shipping War had ended, millions had been killed, with easily 3 times as many wounded, homeless, or generally inhibited by war._

 _Time passed. Olds wounds simmered into irreparable scars, but the war had long since died away, and few thought it would return._

 _But then the shippings returned – not with flamewars, but with good fanfics._

 _They divided us._

"And it's like, Bumblebee is so canon as of the latest episode, ya know? Like, we just need to ship it!"

"But Ruby ex Yang! _Ruby ex Yang_!"

 _They devolved us into endless debate._

"Furthermore, Whiterose is proven once again to the truest pairing due to its emphasis in the show. That is fact!"

"Hitler thought the final solution was fact too!"

 _It was taken a little, tiny bit too far._

"BUMBLEBEE! BUMBLEBEE!"

"WHITEROSE! WHITEROSE!"

"FALLING PETALS! FALLING PETALS!"

 _Alright,_ way _too far._

"AHHHHH! MY ARM! OH GOD, THIS FANFIC THAT I WAS NOT FORCED TO READ THAT DOES NOT SHIP MY OTP HAS PRACTICALLY SEVERED MY ARM!"

"OH GOD, THINK OF THE CHILDREN! THE LITTLE, FALLING PETAL CHILDREN!"

 _Seriously. It was actually legit bad. Like the holocaust or something._

"MY INTESTINES ARE TRYING TO STRANGLE ME IN ORDER TO SURVIVEAGHGAHKGKGK-!"

… _Okay, not_ that _bad, but it was still pretty bad._

Moving on. _The second war proved to be an eventuality. Blood was spilled, forums exploded in debate. The metaphorical children were crying the moment they came into being, because they knew that they'd been born into an era of death and shippings. Many, many shippings._

"HYAH! TAKE THAT, YOU PERSON WHO'S ONLY CRIME IS HAVING A DIFFERENT OPINION AND THUS MUST _**DIIIIE!**_ "

 _Those of the RWBY fandom engaged in mortal battle, a bloody civil war. The sides of the Fandom supporting their respective shippings created alliances with different internet groups, and those groups called in alliances from other groups, and so on._

 _Soon, the world erupted into its very first World Shipping War._

 _It was hell._

"GYA! HA! DO YOU THINK YOUR MOVES WILL REK ME SCRUB? PREPARE TO GET _FAZE CLAN-ED_!"

"OH GOD! IF I THOUGHT THE PAIN OF READING MY NON-OTP WAS BAD, THEN ACTUALLY HAVING MY ARM CUT OFF IS PRETTY BAD!"

"THE ACTUAL CHILDREN ARE DYING! OH GOD, THEY'RE EATING THEM. AND THEN THEY'RE GOING TO EAT ME. OH MY GAWWWD!"

 _And in the savage battles that were fought, in the furious fires that consumed the internet, very little remained. It had all become ash._

 _But one man would rise from this ash. Rise and restore the balance to the fandom-_

 _*Doooo do, do da da daaa do, do da da daaaa do, something something something*_

 _And his name-_

 _*DA DUM DI DUM DA!*_

 _Was John Smith Hardrider Blazeclan Fort Wenty Stu._

"I'm here to chew ass and kick gum. And I don't like gum. So I better get chewing. Yeah."

 _This summer,_

"Why'd you do that?"

"I was outta missiles. And bullets. And damnit, I always wanted to do that!"

 _A Bruce Willis Chuck Norris hybrid in,_

"I'm a Texas Ranger."

"Really?"

"Pffft no! I've never even _watched_ that show!"

 _Fandom Wars: Episode 0: A Good Day to Ship Hard: The Fellowship Of The One True Pairing: This Movie Needs More Subtitles: 3, Is A Good Number: Something Something Kill_

"Chewie… looks like we're home."

"Raaarg!"

"You know, one day I'm gonna figure out what the hell you're actually saying."

 **DIRECTED BY MICHAEL BAY, GEORGE LUCAS AND GEORGE LUCAS AGAIN**

 _ **COMING SOON**_

* * *

Ruby couldn't help but squint as she re-read the ticket Yang gave her.

"…It's actually called 'Fandom Wars'…and it's actually about the creepy fanfiction people write about me and my friends…"

She couldn't help but dread the thought, that 'fanfiction'. The place the unsatisfied go to cry themselves to sleep. An isolated, strange group of people of all walks of life, united by a similar 'need'. Like a creepier version of hermits.

Perhaps society was a little bit unfair in judging them, really, but then again they had never made it easy for themselves. You could name an idea, and no matter how outlandish, there was almost _always_ a fanfic about it. What if some sick bastard wrote a story about her being strangled by something ridiculous, like Yang's ass or being force choked by Darth Weiss? Well, Ruby knew with the same cold certainty as the existence of death that there probably _was_ someone who'd written about it.

It was a terrifying thought.

Despite all that though, much to her incredulity, the movie had been a smashing success.

Apparently, literally 6 billion copies had been sold. The amount of people attempting to watch it on Flixnet **(cough)** had actually caused the CEO of the company to experience a heart attack. Twice. And that was just on his way to the hospital.

But _seriously,_ 6 _billion_ copies. And she honestly wasn't even sure that many people were actually on Remnant, considering Vale's population was only into the hundreds of millions.

A trilogy, _a trilogy,_ was already in the works. And Ruby couldn't help but feel like one of the last sane people in a completely crazy world.

"SHHHH!" Jaune, several rows and columns away, hissed. He shoved another two fistfuls of popcorn in his mouth, giving him a chipmunk Faunus appearance. "IT'S STARTING!"

Immediately, Ruby's rather well-reasoned, and very honest, opinion on fanfiction died away in the cacophony of anticipatory silence. Yang had a strangely quiet expression, poised forward just that bit as though expecting an attack.

Blake was Blake, and Weiss was Weiss. They had exactly the same expression, and weren't ashamed of showing it. They expected quality from this movie like they expected a fish to climb a tree.

Something clicked at the far back, and all at once, the dust-powered projector capable of full 3D photorealistic 1000 frames per second hummed to life, and the movie began.

It was a truly first-world day when absolutely nobody gave a shit about the complete miracle of technology just 20 feet behind them.

* * *

Ruby had thus far deduced the plot of the movie to be like this;

 _Explosions!_

* * *

 **9 Hours later**

Weiss and Blake were _crying_. Apparently, the couple of glances and one scene of fornication had won over their hearts to the 'romance' between the main character and the chick with bigger boobs than _Yang_.

" _Remember, what I told you, that summer day?"_

" _Rebecca, Rebecca, don't say a word – you're gonna be okay."_

Yang was gripping her seat, sitting so far forward she could fall at any moment.

" _What… what are you…?"_

" _I got one last thing to do, Rebecca." The impossibly muscular, chiseled from pure iron and testosterone main character cocked his shotgun. "And it involves killing a fuckload of Fanboys."_ The movie theatre joined together in an uproarious celebration, blown away by the badassitude of 'John' and his declaration.

 _John looked to the horde of fanboys, all of them wielding some form of hilariously outlandish weapon that would, honestly, never work in a real fight._ Ruby fingered Crescent Rose beside her seat, and whispered soothing words to it.

 _And then John made a rather melodramatic slow-reveal, taking off his ever-perpetual shades. As the horde descended, and John's shades were drawn completely off, the screen suddenly went black and silent._

Anticipatory silence filled the theatre, some even passing out from the lack of oxygen, everything felt so tight.

 _And then eyes opened in the darkness, blazing red, and charged, firing his shotgun just once._

The movie ended to the deafening noise of hundreds of people screaming their lungs out in utter adulation. Weiss and Blake abruptly held each other as they cried, Yang screamed the loudest of them all and _leapt_ from her seat, continuing to scream as she hanged from the chandelier, firing her gauntlet.

Jaune was completely passed out, eyes rolled back like he'd had the greatest orgasm he'd ever experienced in his life. His pants had completely blown off. As had his underwear.

Some of the more rabid fangirls tore off their clothes and threw them at the Cinema screen, 'kya'-ing loud enough to make Vampire Knight fangirls blush.

And there sat Ruby, amid it all. Amid the utter absurdity of watching hundreds of people go completely batshit crazy. Weiss and Blake crying hysterically, Yang swinging and shouting, Jaune utterly unconscious from _happy time_ , Nora up the back _chugging Sugar_ , Ren remaining impassive but clearly not wanting to talk to anyone. Pyrrha was probably doing something productive, recognizing this for what it was.

And so Ruby said the words that would decide the fate of the universe.

"So was that it?"

As abrupt and loud as screeching tires, all celebration ceased, and _everyone was looking at her_.

 _Oh crap, maybe that was the –_

"GET THE HATER!"

"YEAH, WE'LL SEE HOW WELL SHE HATES ON THE MASTERPIECE _WITH MY FOOT IN HER EYE SOCKET!"_

 _-wrong thing to say._

* * *

They say the term 'fan' originated from the word 'fanatic'. Ruby, running for her life from a horde a thousand strong, could see why.

They'd taken up impromptu arms, ironically enough the exact same outlandish weaponry the fanboy horde had in the movie they were willing to kill somebody for not liking as much. A trident that was also a wafflemaker suddenly penetrated the ground beside her and Ruby was reminded to keep moving.

Her Aura activated in a breeze laden with petals and she was running, faster than the average members of the crowd – but her radicalized _friends_ amongst others were keeping up, using Aura themselves.

Ruby was blurring by an alley, faster than the eye could possibly track, when the unmistakable _boom_ of her sister's gauntlets blasted into the ground at her feet, kicking up dust and waylaying her legs. She tumbled, end over end in the dust storm, flailing listlessly as up and down were lost to her.

The ground abruptly rose up to meet her face and then there was black.

* * *

Ruby awoke to a slightly brighter darkness.

It was still pretty dim, barely able to distinguish between the back of her eyelids and the blackness surrounding her, encompassing her.

"Greetings, Ruby Rose," the darkness called languidly.

Ruby was trying to look in every direction at once, suddenly awake and alert despite the now-pounding headache she attempted to endure.

"Who…" she croaked, throat dry from a considerable lack of fluids. It felt like rubbing two pieces of sandpaper together, every time her throat constricted in an instinctual reflex to swallow something that wasn't there.

"Am I?" The shadows prompted, and their echo of laughter went deeper than the bone. "My identity is… unimportant. My history, however, is something you should pay… special attention to." Like wine poured slowly from a glass, the amorphous clouds of black spoke almost _temptingly_ as a matter of habit rather than purpose.

"What… what do-"

"Save your breath, girl. We do not need your words.

"We need your ears."

* * *

 _Now, most importantly of anything we must say, that movie you saw – it is an almost perfect translation of the future._

 _The future being where we come from._

 _The Fandoms cannot exist together in total harmony, as much like the humans that perpetuate them, the shippings are stubborn and refuse to accept any other beliefs._

 _The next World Shipping War, and then the one after, and then the next, and then the next… the world is due to exist only in an endless spiral of hate. There is no debate that will settle the fighting, as all arguments have been exhausted again and again._

 _As long as the shippings are allowed to run wild, the world will eventually devolve into that same spiral of hate as in our time. Ruby ex Yang's asscheeks, or Blake ex Penny's left foot – the absurdity will only grow._

 _We must act now. That movie was meant to be a warning, casting a subtle dust spell that completely immerses the populations in feelings of adulation towards it. It was meant to stop all of this. With this much sway, we could have willingly put people off the outrageous shipping. But that very same plan has backfired. The adulation has only caused people to find something_ else _to make ridiculous shippings for. Already, there are four hundred and eighteen stories about John Smith and Rebecca's hamster, 'Mr Nibbles', a shipping called 'Squeaky Love'._

 _And yet you, Ruby Rose, were unaffected. This is most strange to us, but we will not refuse our last change. You, Ruby Rose, must put a stop to all this. You must find those that perpetuate the shippings, those that rile up the fandoms._

 _Ruby… you must eliminate the shippers._

* * *

"Wha…" none of this was making any dust damned _sense_. "I.. don't…"

"In our possession, is a teleportation device. Capable of bringing you to the home of every shipper currently alive. Once there, we ask you to… dissuade them."

Ruby's heart sank, as everything suddenly fell into place at once. She may not understand perfectly, but the unspoken order registered loud and clear against her conscience.

"Are you… asking me to… to… kill people… _innocent_ people… to save the future?" Dear Dust, Ruby would've cried if her whole body didn't feel like sandpaper.

"Yes." They made no attempt to justify, believing itself already proved. "The world has already become too infatuated by the movie to do anything. The fate of humanity rests on you, Ruby Rose, and whether or not you have the fortitude to do what is right."

Ruby couldn't believe this was happening, how completely insane things had become. What had she thought, just hours earlier? The only sane person in a crazy world? And then there was _suddenly_ Time travelling, war, blood, death, and the _end of the world_? As brought about by _fanfiction_?

Now it turned out that her musing was _literally_ true. The world went insane – had already gone insane. Yang, Blake and Weiss and Jaune and – and _everyone_ apparently couldn't help her, couldn't help her in a situation so ridiculous it must've been a convoluted joke but was too serious to be. She'd seen it herself, normally good people becoming bloodthirsty fans, willing to murder someone for a simple disagreement.

And that was the future. Horrific visions of Yang and Blake and Weiss butchering civilians for an _opinion_.

If Ruby had any undigested lunch, it would have been expelled by now.

But she supposed in the end it was never a decision. This… thing had not proposed a choice, it had uttered a _death threat_. 'Save the world or _die_.' And all the pressure of having so much shoved onto her shoulders was going to make her crack, she could just feel it. She didn't feel ready for this… she… she _couldn't_ –

"Be forewarned Ruby, that the first person to die in this conflict is Yang."

And that burned through like a fire in the dark, the simple thought of her sister.

 _Yang_.

Yang was her inspiration after their mom's death, was there the pick up the petals when the flower just wanted to go with the breeze. Yang, suffering just as bad, if not worse, did everything so selflessly to help her baby sister. Not a word of thanks asked, and, dust damn herself, not a word of thanks given. The only distinction between their suffering was that Yang had stepped up while Ruby ran away.

Here, cracking under pressure, undoing everything that Yang had put to hold her sister together… it would've been an unspeakable black mark against her sister's heroism, a _waste_ , to let it end like this. Cracking under the weight of a decision that had never needed to be made, only done.

So Ruby prayed, closing her eyes and hoping her mother could hear her but not see her. Not for what she was going to do next. For a fleeting moment, she wondered how thin the line between herself and people like Roman Torchwick was. Between her and _Cinder_ , the 'Black Queen', the woman who was planning on using an ocean of blood to forge a new Remnant.

Because right now, it felt nonexistent.

She wondered once more why it had to come to this.

She said another prayer, _\- I'm sorry -_ and when she opened her eyes again, they glinted with sharp resolve, like sparkling silver.

* * *

She felt like she was flying.

Everything below was so far, the ground so distant, people and places and things turned to ants. Held by a single thread, she watched it all, drifting along like a kite.

Watching the mysterious shape suddenly disappear, almost empathetic with the feeling of teleportation – being sucked through a straw for less than a thousandth of a second. Watching the figure brandish a weapon as she appeared in another home, in the middle of another night. Watching a spray of blood splash against the window, and feeling strangely sorry for the person who had to clean that up. She watched the figure disappear, to do it all over again.

She just kept watching.

Watching.

The figure slashed and slashed and people kept falling and falling, going through a straw again and again with almost nauseating repetition. All those falling people, with all their red sprays, all looking the same in the dark, all coloured in blacks and reds. She didn't see their faces as they slept, which she was glad for – she didn't want to be creepy and watch them sleep.

And then something happened. Perhaps after so long of using such an impracticably sized weapon, the silent assassin was slower on the attack. And the person, who should have been lying in hues of blacks and reds was suddenly turned around and _dodging_.

The scythe-wielder was stunned – just as she was, watching it all from above. The face of the person who had fought back couldn't have been more than 14.

And that was when Ruby suddenly came back into her own body.

It was jarring, to have such an outside perspective on someone else and then your own again. Ruby watched everything from the _front_ when she had just a moment ago seen from _above_ , like falling from a great height and landing instantly.

There was also, of course, the matter of the Shipper – the young, younger than her living breathing human being _she had just been about to murder_ that was watching her pretty evenly, for someone who'd almost died moments ago.

He fumbled with a lightswitch near his computer. He blinked in recognition as Ruby winced, so used to the darkness the light was almost as jarring as the fall.

"R-Ruby Rose? Why – _why are you trying to kill me_?"

Faced so abruptly with having to explain herself, the Huntress faltered. Her hesitation only grew, and she was suddenly very mournful of her outside perspective. It had made all this so much easier, all this-

 _Senseless murder,_ came as jarring as anything else that happened in the last minute or so. _But it was for a cause._

Ruby hoped that whatever remnant of her conscience had spoken would just _go_ , because if things were made any harder Ruby didn't know if she had enough conviction left to pull through.

But the small voice refused to be silent. _You're better than this, Ruby. You know this is wrong_.

Oh, _it was so much more than wrong_ , but her conviction was fleeting and then suddenly gone, imagery of Yang in a pool of blood no longer holding as much power over her. Perhaps weakness, perhaps heroism – Ruby came completely back to her senses in the most jarring sensation she'd ever felt. Like breathing warm air after drowning in cold water for _years_.

The person in front of her could've still been dispatched easily, but she didn't care anymore. Taking action had given Ruby that moment longer before she attacked to really _consider_. If only for that Ruby was utterly, eternally thankful for this person.

…enough so that she was willing to ignore the rather graphic 'encounter' between herself and her sister on his computer, and the fact that he'd needed to zip up after realizing who she was.

 _Don't think about don't think about it don't think about it_ – and Ruby made a very, very genuine effort not to.

The writer of rather intense incest made to comment, when the room suddenly became a whole lot darker. The lights flickered and died all on their own.

The shadows had come.

"What are you doing, Ruby? Why hesitate? Do you wish for your sister to die?" While the boy had no logical means of knowing what was happening, silent observation made him much more aware of the situation. He stayed back and let it all play out.

"I-I can't! This is wrong!" And then something that had been fighting Ruby every step of the way got loose. "We can't just _kill_ people because of what _might_ happen!" The boy's expression exploded with interest.

"We have seen the future, as we have lived it! _They_ kill us all, thus _they_ must all _die_!"

"There has to be some otherway!" Ruby wasn't sure what made her argument so vehemently, especially when it was with words that were – sort of – spoken before. Perhaps it was the simple prospect of being given time to breath, time to think it out, time to truly appreciate what killing this many had meant.

" _There is no other way! We have tried!_ " The shadows were _writhing,_ drawing around Ruby and the unnamed writer, still expressing interest through a veil of intensive calculation.

"I got into fanfiction writing," and then he was talking, explaining, lecturing in a dulled voice any teacher would've been proud of, "after the death of the greatest man alive. Monty Oum was the most amazing RWBY fan around – he created an animated _series_ about you guys and your deeds. I just felt someone needed to help him finish it – and there are thousands trying to do just that. Finish what Monty started, let him not go gently into that good night. We all may have different… interpretations, of how it should go, but we all display the same adulations. Ruby, Blake, Weiss, and Yang – you're our _heroes_. We just wanted to give you the stories you deserve."

Ruby was beyond words – _most jarring experience of her life number 2_. Hours earlier, she'd assumed fanfiction writers all fell into the same category, all of them with some publicly abhorred axe to grind who'd found an outlet – like many did – on the internet. But to hear such a selfless reason… it made her wonder what had changed to let the future become so heartless and bloody. What had happened to people like _him_?

 _Largely ignored or dead in the crossfire, maybe_ , would be the most logical and tragic deduction. A thousand screams made a lot more noise than one reasonable argument. It was actually chilling how that cycle had continued, past the Faunus rebellion, before the Faunus rebellion, perpetually. Until the world destroyed itself.

" _Touching_ ," the shadows writhed aggressively like thousands of snakes acting in perfect harmony. "But we have a world to rule-" and then abruptly bit itself on the metaphorical tongue, and Ruby _stared_. Her mind coalesced, slowly, languidly.

Everything fell into place.

"You… you _used_ me…" Rose petals, a dark enough crimson they were almost black, started to flutter around Ruby. "Used me to _kill_ people… good people… _innocent people_... so you could rule!? How does killing anybody accomplish _anything_?"

"Because our kingdom will not contain something as frivolous as _shipping_. While the world will be destroyed by it, that will come in centuries. The reason we want all shippers dead is, quite simply, _it_ _affronts us_. Its very existence is disgusting. All of us will be dead long before it ever destroys the world. There is no use in stopping it. However, while we rule, a lack of shipping would be _welcome_. You were going to be our agent, our tool to cleanse this world of all that offends us." The shadows stilled predatorily. "But you have outlived your usefulness."

The shadows lashed out and Ruby was holding the writer bridal-style as they dodged, Rose petals flying as they burst from the window.

The concrete outside cracked as the Ruby landed heavily, the shadows following like a horde of tendrils soon after. The amalgamation of darkness crawled like a creature, flowed like a liquid, and floated like a gas. Making its way outside with claws and tendrils, utterly eldritch.

It languidly slid down the street after Ruby. The girl in the red hood indecisively looked between the civilian in her arms and the monster making its way. She unceremoniously threw the writer aside – "Hey!" "SORRY! YOU'LL THANK ME LATER!" – in preparation for the fight. She twirled Crescent Rose.

Ruby understood her current situation even less than she did before – but what she did know she would never have a moral crisis over. This monster had used her – _killed people for an opinion_ – for some strange desire to 'rule'. Or maybe it wasn't strange. Maybe anyone that was willing to commit mass murder was motivated by a desire to rule.

 _Except for me_. She clamped down on the thought just as hard as she swung Crescent Rose, hard enough to tear apart the street beneath and let the fight between mistaken hero and genocidal monster begin in earnest.

They clashed; Crescent Rose and the shadows locked together in a furious contest of determination and strength.

"You will lose this fight, girl," the formless creature hissed, pressing further forward. Ruby grew warier as the tendrils grew closer. "Shippings are the markings of foolishness and idiocy, an idea born from a ridiculous need to have 'hope', much like your entire race."

The tendrils suddenly _pushed_ , and Ruby dodged back, slicing apart any pursing appendages. She looked to the monster, eye's glinting. "So that's why you're like this… you're not human, or a Faunus, are you?"

The shadows coiled and uncoiled like muscles. "No, human, we are not. Millennia after the death of our main predators, my kind has been allowed to flourish." Tendrils of shadow emerged from an alleyway, creeping onto the straight behind Ruby. "We have grown innumerable in number and immeasurable in power. We have evolved." White bone emerged from the shadow, holes peering soullessly into Ruby's silver orbs.

"WE! ARE! _**GRIM**!_ "

All at once, the tendrils struck, and Ruby was saved by her instincts alone. She heard the slithering and moved, but a half moment too late – a particularly fast tentacle split her side, sparking an inferno of mind-numbing pain, Ruby holding her side as her semblance kept the tentacles far enough away to recover.

But all too fast they were upon her again – suddenly doubling and doubling again their speed, only growing faster as Ruby struggled to keep them from killing her. She jumped one horde, fired Crescent Rose away from another only to be slashed across the back by even more. This was a war of attrition she was steadily losing. Gasping, she called out "Shippings aren't the problem! It's what people do with them that's the problem!"

It only made sense then that she put her faith in what she was always better at. Gathering her aura during a short lull in battle, Ruby's eyes flared and glinted silver all over again. "People have a right to ship what they want to, to _believe_ in what they want to." She put everything into her semblance, letting her body practically vibrate with unreleased power. "It's not wrong to be who you are and have an opinion; it's what makes us all so amazing, being so different. And lastly, you overgrown bad dream, _hope_ is what's going to make you lose this battle." A veritable storm of petals swirled around her, a cyclone of red, moving faster and faster and _faster_ -

Ruby was gone, petals falling gently to the ground.

The night became unusually quiet, the monster pausing as it sent out its shadows and senses. The girl… she wasn't here anymore.

But then she _was_.

The silence completely shattered just as the sound barrier did, a resounding, ominous _crack_ that predated a millisecond of flashing silver fluttering red and slicing steel.

A red blur emerged from the flashes and slid to a stop, head bowed, Scythe slung over its shoulders. Ruby stood still, completely still, as the night quietened once again.

And then the shadows exploded like the death star.

The heat hit harder than the force, shoving against Ruby's wounded, aching back. The shockwave blew a wave of dust and smoke, shattering windows and sending loose debris tumbling. Both blew by at their respective speeds, unleashing the explosion on parts further and further away. Eventually, the warmth dissipated to a spring breeze, the shockwave becoming a gentle tap from far away.

Silence reigned as the shattered glass and debris lied still. Ruby stood, and almost collapsed as the wounds of battle caught up with her. Her split side was bleeding too much, a disgusting sensation of warmth and stickiness, and other wounds were amounting to too much altogether.

She needed help before she collapsed, and it was at that moment the writer stepped from the alley into the street.

"Well, that was a thing," he stated quietly, partly unfazed, partly uncomprehending. He knelt by Ruby's side and extended help. "Come here; I'll help you to a hospital. There's one nearby."

Ruby graciously took the hand, mind still too rattled to really say the sorry that she wanted.

"You're forgiven." Ruby blinked, looking to the writer as they hobbled away. "It was on your face."

"Right," she whispered, so light-headed she felt like she was going to feint.

Which she promptly did, falling bonelessly into the writer's arms. The writer, not exactly strong himself, felt himself buckle, his knees shaky and his back throbbing in groaning protest.

" _Heavy_ ," he grunted, and continued to grunt protests as he dragged the world's savior to a 'hospital' – a Faunus friend of the family that worked at a local 7/11. Also, technically, a vet.

Something stirred at the edge of his eyes.

"Did you really think it would be-"

He scowled and whipped out his phone – which was also a handgun loaded with shotgun rounds and a baton.

"I managed to notice her for a reason, moron," and promptly blew the head off the reforming monstrosity.

" _Asshole_." And he set off once again, intent on finding the Faunus and getting this _heavy girl off of him_.

As they walked off, his quiet steps fading into the background, the world dimmed, and eventually faded to black.

* * *

Ruby leaned back, utterly admonished.

"Wow."

Yang, just beside her, agreed. "Yeah. That was a pretty awesome movie."

The RWBY fanfiction community's first ever fully animated fan-movie, 'The End Of the Fandom', was not actually that bad. Ruby felt the final fight was a little short though – and cheesy. But still.

 _It was awwwwwesome!_ (completely unfounded claims of bias were dismissed instantly)

Yang smiled brightly and gave her baby sister a noogie, who's quick and squeaky " _HEY!_ " was well worth it. "Don't need to shout it out, Rubes. But hell yeah that was pretty good."

"I found it strangely deep and deeply strange." Blake offered her opinion, Weiss nodded articulately.

"It was a pretty good explanation for what's happening to the community right now – did you know 16 of the highest reviewed stories about us is _shipping_? Vampire Knight has only like 10, and they have drama like we have air. Dust only knows what happens when it takes off and we're all stuck shipping the daylights out of Whiterose and Bumblebee, meanwhile drawing battlelines for those who do anything else. It'll be Xena all over again."

And then Yang was there in a flash of gold with a smile that said _**gotcha.**_ "'We're stuck shipping', Weiss? Is there something you wanna confess?"

Weiss floundered and her cheeks flushed, looking to Ruby for support. Ruby was still contemplating life, the movie and whether or not she wanted cookies with milk. Weiss found no support, and quickly said something that made both Blake and Yang laugh – or one chuckle and the other act like laughing was going out of style.

 _Oh what am I thinking,_ of course _I get the milk too,_ Ruby was thinking, unhindered by her friend's noisy conversation _._ Cookies without milk was like hugs without love – what was the point, then?

"-but all I'm saying is that the movie makes a good point! If someone doesn't do something we're- _they're_ going to destroy ou- _them_ selves. They'll become the next twilight fandom, writing nothing but cheesy shipping with the occasionally good story!"

Ruby blinked as Weiss' flustered, yet well-reasoned argument drifted into her ears.

"Does that mean you have to completely prohibit shipping, though? Because it's still people's choice in the end to read those stories. No writer has to cater to everyone." Blake well-reasoned-ed back.

"Blah blah blah blah _blah_ ," Yang interrupted with negligible tact. "Does it really matter? I mean as long as nothing bad happens we shouldn't be worried, right?"

"But then what if something bad _does_ -"

"I'm sorry to interrupt guys but I kind of want to go back to Beacon so I'll see you there." Ruby interjected. The conversation did not stop, nor did anyone acknowledge her. Sighing dejectedly, like a kicked puppy, she walked out.

"-then we'll all be in trouble!"

"Yeah, but what I'm-"

And then it cut to black mid-sentence.

* * *

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 _Howzat? Did the serious business go unappreciated? Are we forever doomed to a future where we murder each other in a bloody, violent internet war? Am I completely overdramatizing something that's not actually a problem because I want you guys to get trolled hard and think about something that isn't worth thinking about? Tell me if I'm the messiah or a complete idiot!_

 ** _Review today!_**


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